Stranger: "ADDED YOU BY PHONE #"
When the lecture started 7 minutes ago but Amy & Beth from Theta Apple Pie won't shut up about their weekend
When everyone says you're lucky to have your girl but they don't know how crazy she really is
*Listens to 21 savage once*
"This edible ain't shit"
*45 minutes later
Rain drop, drop top! Haha I love listening to y'alls music, I'm Becky by the way
John Legend performing at the Oscars (2017)
WHAT IN STANDARD DEVIATION
me: did u bring the goods
drug dealer: of course
When you lose your mom at the store
Cop: Am I Pronouncing This Right, Ping Pong?
Girl: It's Lisa
Cop: Ok Sushi
Look at this little judgmental ass dog
(Taco Bell drive thru)
Me: can I get some extra mild sauce
when she introduces herself to your boys as your girlfriend, but you've only been dating for 9 years
"Trump is paying $85 an hour to build the wall, wyd?"
You vs the guy she tells you not to worry about
Trump: The less immigrants we let in the better.
Pence: The fewer
Trump: Shhh, don't call me that in public yet.
Got denied from Harvard :(
My fish had a baby so we celebrating