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caprice crane
writers novels 170,605 followers
This could just be me being sensitive but for some reason I feel like the woman sitting next to me on this flight isn't interested in talking to me? #thisisgoingwell #hurtful #americanairlines
What's the opposite of wanting to hear about you doing crossfit? I'm that.
My other car is a wave of panic and crippling depression.
Follow the very funny @OwenBenjamin so 7-Eleven doesn't have more followers than him.
It's depressing to find out more people follow 7-11 than me.
Retweeted by caprice crane
As he watched all of his friends switch one by one to iPhone and Android, BLKBERY thought he'd never find love. But then he met his beloved BBGIRL 7. It was magic. They BBM every minute of every day and are never more than a PING!!! away from each other. Let's just hope the iPhone 6 doesn't lure one
If you're in an argument & someone says, "I just think it's funny how you..." I guarantee you that person doesn't think it's funny. At all.
This is my friend Lloyd. He enjoys snacking throughout the day as opposed to three meals and he prefers to dine at the table. #lloyd #squirrel #snacks
Calm down, Adobe Update. You're acting like a needy little bitch.
Not everybody wants children. "Plan B Cathy" sure didn't. She used the Plan B morning after pill so often she earned herself a nickname and got banned from pharmacies nationwide for abuse of privilege. Enter DNC Crew. He understood her plight. Hell, he'd been cleaning out uteri for years by the time
Nothing bonds women faster than finding out they hate the same people.
Not red yet but Mars is allegedly in this picture. #bloodmoon #mars #notanastronomer
A "refresh" button...for this plate of nachos.
Combo sun setting and blood moon rising. #bloodmoon #sunset #mulholland
Considering that US Airways plane didn't even have a landing strip to work with, I'd say the pilots should be commended!
Before posting that inspirational quote, ask yourself, "Is this worth basically telling everyone that I'm a sad mess of a person?"
It's better to have loved and lost than to notice a typo after you've already hit "send."
If you missed the first ep of #SiliconValley you need to fix that & watch @kumailn etc. in @MikeJudge's brilliant new show tonight. So good!
One of my very immature (naturally) best friends is in Korea and having a field day. Here's a small selection of the pics I'm receiving. #ho #nymph #cuminahottub #bff
Instagram is down so everyone is canceling brunch because why bother?
Please don't post a screenshot if your battery percentage is low, I can't focus on the picture because your low battery is stressing me out.
My brilliant and hilarious friend @carolleifer has a new book out so read this in @VanityFair and then buy her book!…
This is my favorite cashier at my grocery store. Do you think his last name is cheese? God I hope so. #nacho
If a girl asks another girl where she got an article of clothing and she says she "doesn't remember," that bitch is straight-up lying.