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caprice crane
writers novels 170,592 followers
It's a beautiful day to whisper, "That's not your real daddy," to random kids at the park! Happy Earth Day!
Want to make a skinny girl freak out? Congratulate her on her pregnancy and ask if you can feel the bump. Then just watch the magic.
Upset that they didn't get their own days, Wind and Fire abruptly quit the band.
Netflix has announced a price increase. I hope the people whose accounts I 'borrow' aren't impacted too severely.
"Five years from now I'll have my shit together." - me, five years ago. And five years before that. Aaaaand.....
A lady on this flight can't tell us how much she HATES this plane. "There's nowhere to put my newspapers!" Please pray for her. #suffering
My pretty mama and I at Easter brunch yesterday. #bestest #prettymama
You know that thing where you stop eating when you're full? Someday I'll try that.
Happy Easter from Bunny Max and me! #bunnydog #maxterbunny #bestpupintheworld
I don't mean to brag (I totally mean to brag) but I'm pretty sure I captured the best photo of the bride and groom last night. Such a beautiful wedding @gittyd @danielmazin. A lifetime of love to the gorgeous couple. #nofilter #gittythebride #gittyanddaniel
This view, though. #iheartnyc #newyorker #empirestatebuilding #gittythebride #gittyanddaniel
NYC sunset over the Hudson. Breathtaking backdrop for a lovely wedding. #gittythebride #gittyanddaniel
"This house is perfect! Why did the previous owners leave?" "There was a large spider they couldn't catch."
Flashback Friday. Some bitch partied like it was 1999 and this precious baby face grew up to be my perfect, handsome, one-in-a-million Max. He is my heart. #fbf #toomuchlove #15inOctober
Can someone please explain this to me? #what #why #nocomprendo
This is news. #merica
This could just be me being sensitive but for some reason I feel like the woman sitting next to me on this flight isn't interested in talking to me? #thisisgoingwell #hurtful #americanairlines
What's the opposite of wanting to hear about you doing crossfit? I'm that.
My other car is a wave of panic and crippling depression.
Follow the very funny @OwenBenjamin so 7-Eleven doesn't have more followers than him.
It's depressing to find out more people follow 7-11 than me.
Retweeted by caprice crane
As he watched all of his friends switch one by one to iPhone and Android, BLKBERY thought he'd never find love. But then he met his beloved BBGIRL 7. It was magic. They BBM every minute of every day and are never more than a PING!!! away from each other. Let's just hope the iPhone 6 doesn't lure one
If you're in an argument & someone says, "I just think it's funny how you..." I guarantee you that person doesn't think it's funny. At all.
This is my friend Lloyd. He enjoys snacking throughout the day as opposed to three meals and he prefers to dine at the table. #lloyd #squirrel #snacks
Calm down, Adobe Update. You're acting like a needy little bitch.