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G4S advertises for cleaning supervisor 'who can speak Polish' dailym.ai/1nfq4Gd
Educated in #Britain, now these 3 are accused of plotting a 'significant' terror attack on #London target - bit.ly/1yW7jg8
PE teacher at 'Trojan Horse' school suspended after being accused of #racism over satirical Facebook posts about - bit.ly/1wasJjP
I read in the paper the other day how a #clairvoyant midget escaped from prison. The headline said 'Small Medium at Large'.
Local girl Joanna Mow leaps to her death on her birthday... Your middle name wouldn't be Ronny, would it Jo?
When someone says, "It's better than #sex" it's obvious that they haven't been having the right kind of sex.
A flying insect just flew into my kitchen and exploded. I think it was a Jihaddy long legs.
It's a good thing that #innuendo isn't a crime. I'd definitely be going down.
After Being Fined for Refusing 2 Host Gay #Weddings, #Christian Farm Owners Are Fighting Back With Stunning Decision shar.es/1moFUQ
We WILL be in the #EU in five years, says the PM's top man in Brussels dailym.ai/1CSUG3P
Anger as Clegg says he would 'relish' EU referendum, but only if #Brussels takes more power (via @Daily_Express) express.co.uk/news/politics/…
GIBRALTAR CRISIS: Now the NAVY is sent in as Spanish boat REFUSES to leave British waters (via @Daily_Express) express.co.uk/news/world/519…
Muslims can claim benefits for several wives, say Ministers (via @Daily_Express) express.co.uk/news/uk/33753/…
UK hate preacher linked to fanatic dailym.ai/1rbStrQ
The biggest online seller of close to, and past, best before date food and drink. | Approved Food - bit.ly/YN3NUq
Customer refused wet wipe in KFC #halal branch as it contains alcohol dailym.ai/1plIeBx
Iraqi #asylum seekers make fortune renting out luxury London flats dailym.ai/1pyw9YX
Poles demand millions from Britain to pay their benefits dailym.ai/1uO1Txe
Check out The Oxford History of the British Army by David Chandler amazon.co.uk/gp/product/019… via @
so #nasa is studying #mars to workout why it has changed from warm and wet to cold and dry....maybe it got #married!!!
A news report says #paedophiles are to be #educated to control their urges. What a brilliant idea, send paedophiles to school.#dickheads
What do #Manchester United and Richard the Third have in common? They both got buried in #Leicester. lol
the #dickhead Alex Salmond walks into a bar in #Scotland. I'm sorry, I meant the United Kingdom.
Leonardo Dicaprio has addressed the UN about climate change. Well if anyone should know about the dangers of melting icebergs, it's him !
I've just been to a sex offenders convention and a #Radio One #Breakfast Show broke out.
#Labour candidate says #Churchill was a 'racist and white supremacist' dailym.ai/1paqYPA
Same-sex #marriage law exploited by #immigrants wanting sham weddings dailym.ai/1paphS4
David Cameron shelves move to ban British jihadis returning to UK - bit.ly/1sP4vZy
Glad we've got David Beckham's opinion on Scottish Independence. Just need Joey Essex's thoughts on fracking now!!
What's brass and sounds like Tom Jones? #Trombones.
#Barcelona's Nou Camp has been seriously vandalised. Spanish police have arrested a dyslexic #Scotsman.
The madness of the £500,000 #London #asylum hotel for 600 migrants dailym.ai/1qhMWPY
What do you call a #Scotsman with diarrhoea? Bravefart
First #Salmond, now #Sturgeon, anyone spot something fishy going on in the SNP?
Criminals who made a mockery of our borders dailym.ai/1qhP9uH
Lots of fingers crossed in #Scotland today that there is a yes vote. Even more in #England.
They've just had to cancel the panto Jack and the Beanstalk in #Bradford. Because the giant can't smell the blood of an #Englishman.
I've got nothing against #Scotland for wanting their #independence. But if you win, for fuck sake take Lorraine Kelly with you.
At 11 p.m tonight there will be millions of anxious scots wanting to know - "Was that the last orders bell?"