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Bree Essrig
BF: This isn't working out anymore. You never take anything seriously. Me: *opens mouth & flips orange peel smile into orange peel frown*
My favorite comfort food is cuticles.
I threw a tiny glass elephant at Rhonda when she was sleeping. It missed and landed on the carpet unbroken. Some secrets are forever.
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i don't really like kids, but i respect them yknow as an artist
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no i cant hang out tonight i am busy...
when bae says calling him eleven times a day is too much i be like
When bae eats the last chip, I be like
Just realized that I spend the majority of my life mumbling the word "sorry" and moving out of everyone's way.
when a group of cute boys are discussing literature and you want to subtly enter the conversation
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hi i'm flannelbeard, and this is my girlfriend sundressbangs
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girls don't like boys girls like the way black looks with denim
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.@coffeeorrum talk about a #throwbackthursday! Thanks for the shout out! :)
We make up our own words... @chelseafrank @aarzi 💩
.@BarackObama Hey I know you have a lot on your plate right now but can you take the first R out of Sriracha?
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i think i'm go go, go go, go go, go gooooooooo. #tbt #squeeze
#bitchface #tbt
[Dr's Office] Dr: The test results came back. Bad news, I'm afraid. Me: Oh no... Dr: You've tested positive for being "That Guy"
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Keep your infants & small children away from my face right now. They could suffocate from playing with the bags under my eyes...
My future husband hates prunes!!! We may have to call off the wedding... #Constipation
Have you seen #FrankensteinMD yet?! You should, it's RAD! So proud of @Lons & @BrettRegister!…
👀❤️ @shannamalcolm