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Emmy comedian
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When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you.
The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones that do.
A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. ~David Brinkley
If you don't value your time, neither will others. Stop giving away your time and talents- start charging for it
Try not to become a person of success, but rather try to become a person of value. ~Albert Einstein
#successquotes its all about being successful... Hope u learn a thing or two from these
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got. Do somtin diffrnt!
All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. ~Walt Disney
Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out
My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun😏😌
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life is to short to think about those that makes u sad. Be happy!
success is an habit... Maintain gud success habit
STUPIDITY is when a man sleeps with five different women without protection and goes to the barbing salon with his personal clipper.
Its only in Nigeria that pirated films also have a fore-warning about piracy
BADLUCK is when you go to a herbalist to help you charm a guy,only 4 him to be the guy's father,just lyk glo ur madness go dey UNLiMITD
Some girls be like 'Am sure you told every girl the same story' .. IDIOT : Do you use different CVs when applying for a job ?
White gal FB status I lov U Tom.. 9ja gal FB status : I lov u.. U knw urself.. Wen will our gals stop killin many birds wit 1 stone
I overheard a girl claiming to be a half cast when her dad is from ghana and her mum kenya... I'm in tears brethen
Dear Mom, because of you I am what I am today. You carried me for 9 months nd raised me. You r a strng woman. RT if u lov ur mom.
A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use? Trainer replies: Use the ATM
GOBE is when u go to withdraw cash via ATM and you meet the guy U're owing on the queue ☹
MATH TEACHER: Akpos come here and tackle the equation on the board.. AKPOS: Bros, I didn't come with my football boot abeg
AKPOS: Papa, is it all stories that start with 'Once upon a time'? .. PAPA AKPOS: No son, some start wit 'If u vote for me, I will...'
If a woman leaves a man wit vision & follows a man wit Television, soon she'll watch the man wit vision on her husband's television
TEACHER: What is a place where Thieves meet called ?.. AKPOS: Aso rock ma
OCHUKO: I think say u go commit Suicide.. AKPOS: Na so I think too o, as I wan jump enter the water I come realize say I go drown, I run
PAPA: Ur mum is cheating on me..AKPOS: Ow?..PAPA: Last nyt she said she slept in Titi's house but Titi was wit me d whole nyt @ d Hotel
DOCTOR: U should take at least 10 Cups of water daily.. AKPOS: It is impossible.. DOCTOR: Why?.. AKPOS: I have only 4 Cups at home
AGRIC TEACHER : Akpos, tell me 2 uses of Soil.. AKPOS : firstly, we use Soil to farm. Secondly, we use soil to bury people
TEACHER: Ogun is to Limestone, Oyo is to Marble, More examples. OCHUKO: Kwara is to Gold.. AKPOS: Lagos is to Traffic
AKPOS: My Father's name is LAUGHING & my Mother's name is SMILING.. TEACHER: U must be KIDDING.. AKPOS: No, that's my brother.I m JOKIN
After maths test*.. TEACHER: What method did U use in solving the questions?.. AKPOS: Guess and Hope method
at the end m like, ow did i end up following this people? They tweet strange languages!
1000 tweets completed!
Bush meat sellers in IB come out to protest. Eating bushmeats in public and educating people on ebola.
Morning tweepeeps... God bless all my followers this week IJN.
It's only in Igbo reunion that U hear things like'Dede, see small Nkiru of yesterday o.She has grown&now has hairs all over her chest'
I remember one time like that my mum slapped me inside Idumota market, I saw Angel Michael selling white lace material.
Akpos & Ochuko had an Accident.. OCHUKO: Oh God, I ve lost my left hand?.. AKPOS: Control yourself, that man lost his head. Is he crying?
OCHUKO: Where u wear Helmet dey trek go ?.. AKPOS: To avoid plane wey dey crash my broda
TEACHER: if u want to ask something, raise your hand.. *Akpos raises hand*TEACHER:U want to ask something? AKPOS: No. I’m just testin
TEACHER: Who can give me one similarity between Ashawo & Witches.. AKPOS: The two no dey stay house for Night
A perfect girl Doesn't bother, Doesn't shout, Doesn't flirt with others, Doesn't lies, Doesn't cheat, . . . And . . Doesn't exists :p
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Teacher: wat's a baby lizard called?Akpos: It's simple! It's called Lizzy Baby
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PROSTITUTE: Help Sir, My private part doesn't grow Hair.. DOC AKPOS: Okay, have u ever seen a busy road growing Grass befo
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