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Emmy comedian
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The clever wind blows a girl's skirt high (Good Luck) But on that moment dust falls into the boy's eyes (Bad Luck)
Their honeymoon period is over when he phones to say he'll be late for supper and she's already left a note that it's in the refrigerator.
Mack: What sign were you born under? Silky: No Parking!
Females always try to impress males by wearing hot dresses. But we are Impressed Only when They remove them.
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.
There is always a negative person who demotivates your ideas by adding 'What if'.
Only in math problems can you buy 50 watermelons and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
#fact A kiss can be 10 times more effective than morphine in reducing pain by triggering the body's natural painkillers.
My memory is really so bad" "How bad is it?" "How bad is what?"
Fastest mode of communication - Tell a girl a rumor and take promise to keep it as a secret.
Girl: Do you hate me? Boy: Nope, I don't.. I'm just not necessarily excited about your existence.
When someone follows you all the way to the shop and watches you buy toilet roll, you know your life has changed.
when Doctor asks: How's your headache? Patient: She is fine!
It is better to be late than to arrive ugly!
Colin Farrell explains his support for marriage equality in a beautiful way. I couldn’t have said it better myself. ellen.tv/1ynXxRZ
Retweeted by Emmy comedian
All men are brave, Horrors movies don't scare them... But..... 10 missed calls from wife----- surely does !
make someone happy by retweeting a tweet today.... I remember how I felt when I got my first retweet. #RT
anxiously looking for a tweet to retweet ....©®¶
At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?
how bout some refreshing jokes at this time of this night? wait up! its right on the way .....
its funny how you follow some people and they send you computer programmed messages ... thank you for following bla bla bla .. just tweet me
No one taught me how to pose...... Boyh!!! My intuition did a good job !!! instagram.com/p/yF5azPQTnO/
I never believed the Yoruba adage 'some people can sleep on water' until I saw a man yesterday sleeping on bike ...
Now that was when i thought you needed looks to impress girls instagram.com/p/x3V-2cwTgt/
I've always believed that any guy can sweep any girl off her feet . all you need is the right broom
San to yoa tia miso tin tunh toot. What does that even mean? How the heck did I end up following this guys ???
If you lie and say you are a virgin. Ama just flow along with you and say so is my mum.
It's a beautiful Thursday. A Thursday that will be filled with motivation. Let's motivate someone to do something today. Something positive.
I don't know if what I heard was true, I didn't believe it anyway. Buhari is contesting for president???? That's so not true. Or is it?
the first time I sent my mum 1m she sent me a blank SMS. I called her to ask why? and she said, son, I'm short of words
what makes the local girl drink her garri with her hand is the same thing that makes the the tush girl drink her pap with straw.
ladies be forming in local restaurant. they be like 'duh! I don't take that black shit,jeez' I'm like correct hunger never catch you
some people will sleep so much that they dream they are being fed food. they end up waking up with toothpicks in their mouth.
#kidsbehaviour I didn't know how to correctly write figure 8 until when I was 19. I remember representing it with two zeros.
I can be HERE and THERE at the same time. the only difference is T which means Time. its only a matter of time
When I was small, my daddy bought a brand new car and drove us to church with it one sunday. It was a prophetic... fb.me/45gf3AtPD
Akpos won a lottery of 10 million dollars, after claiming the money, he buried the cash at the foot of a tree,... fb.me/73cFLLha4
I forgot it was new a new year two days back. Hope its not to late to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! instagram.com/p/xZfA5ewTsd/
Nigerian police are nice, they pulled us over more than seven times today just to wish us happy new year!
Akpos won a lottery of 10 million dollars, after claiming the money, he buried the cash at the foot of a tree,... fb.me/1Lva9jf8s
Nigerians are just too religious. U ask someone in the elevator "Are you going down?" and they go "God forbid! I am going up in Jesus name"
USES OF CAR HORNS IN LAGOS: To: -Say hello -Call passengers -Make traffic lights change from red to green - Make cars move faster in traffic
A new year is loading ██████████████████ 95 % May GOD protect us, our family and our country. RT to say Amen.
When I ws growing up, I usually write my name on a tiny piece of paper & slot it into my Eleganza/Bic Biro 4 identification. RT if U did dis