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Emmy comedian
#awkwardmoment Saying goodbye to someone then realizing they’re going the same way as you.
When your server says, “Enjoy your meal!” and you reply, “Thanks, you too!” #awkwardmoments
Unfollow anyone who doesnt speak in english@mlabake
Replying to someone yoy think is talking to u but actually they are on their bluetooth #awkwardmoment
That #awkwardmoment when you wave at someone you think u know but actually dont
That awkward moment when you throw 500bucks away thinking it was pure water sachet!
That #awkwardmoment wen u are at a store and u ask someone who is not the storekeeper where the toiler is
That #awkward moment wen u offer sumone food just trying to b nive and d person actually collects it
I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
Do u know d reason for the season?
Yep! Just click the link below
Only in math problems can you buy 50 watermelons and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
"My memory is really so bad" "How bad is it?" "How bad is what?"
Alcohol is never the #answer but it makes you forget the #question
World's shortest Joke ever is when Doctor asks: How's your headache?Patient: She is fine!
If Olive Oil is made from Olives and Vegetable oils from Vegetables, then what is Baby oil made from???
Wife: If I wud av been married to a Monster, I wud av been felt much beta dan wit u...Man: But marriages ar nt allowed in same bloodrelation
Wat did the cockroach say to d man hu wanted to squash it? u ar just jealous of me. The reason being - I make ur spouse scream louda dan u!
Those 8 seconds really become so longer when you wait for "Skip" option button on video sharing site
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?