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Emmy comedian
269 followers
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Ladies, I av read d bible from Genesis to Revelation nd a female angel was not mentiond anywhere. So if he calls you 'Angel' Na wash
u'll agree the economy is bad when Thieves break in ur house, Sit down, make Eba, warm soup, Eat & then steal ur remaining Kerosene
Blackberry users don't even care where they charge their phones. They will be at a funeral, using the socket close to the casket.
Mind your business. A man who decides to swallow a whole coconut, has complete faith in his anus.
When you fail WAEC. You can't even touch the remote without irritating your parents. Even to slice bread, they'll say U ar makingnoise
CONFUSION is when you go steal meat from the pot, and you forget whether the spoon was on top or inside the pot.
It's only in Igbo reunion that U hear things like "Dede, see small Nkiru of yesterday o. She has grwn&now has hairs all over ha chest
gud nyt yo ma niggaz
Why do women live longer than men? Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bills does
I can't wait to be married. It's going to be so great to find that one special person I want to annoy for the rest of my life.
Marriage is a workshop, where the husband works and the wife shops.
HOW TO SLEEP FASTER: Decorate your bedroom to look like a classroom.
Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.
There are three sides to an argument, your side, my side, and the right side, which is still my side!
They say that life is too short, I just wonder who took the measurements.
Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
i wanna tweet some wild crazy tweets now. if u ar under 18 just.... read and enjoy
just checking this emoticon if it works — feeling beautiful at CoolFM969 fb.me/2VOe8FfBz
i work with the mic.
"It is the nature of man to rise to greatness if greatness is expected of him." -- John Steinbeck
Retweeted by Emmy comedian
a lady is not like detol. if you dont take care of her someone else will.
yoruba mumz b lyk 'switch dat radio off or lower the volume i want to read this sms'
yoruba galz have morale o. dey will eat in the restaurant and wash the plate afterward.
check out @BankyW dope track #jaiyeOrimi o make sence gan.
check out the dope single @phynofino ft @2niteFlavour with #authe am lovin that track jorh.
have u ever felt the urge to tweet but u ar just tweetless. at that point u need to tweetify ur self
is it my fault? i saw a badge on her chest wi th 'press' written on it. nd i did as commanded
when you say the truth it becomes part of ur past. when u lie it becomes part of ur future.
the first guy to ride a horse was all like GIDDYUP HORSEY and the horse was all like DAMMIT WHO TOLD HIM THAT MAKES US GO
How guy's propose: On one knee. How girl's propose: "I'm pregnant!"
Yawning is your bodies way of saying 20% battery remaining.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye- opener.
#mikel was like a micro organism on the pitch on saturday.
A girl can comfortably introduce 2 guys that she's dating to each other. They be like, "My love, meet my sweetheart.
Only God can turn a MESS into a MESSage, a TEST into a TESTimony, a TRIal into a TRIumph, a VICTim into a VICTor. GOD is GOOD!
He stays in LAGOS & She's in BENIN She says it won't work cuz of DISTANCE, but if d Guy is in US,D babe wil say LOV is all dat matas.
U see d size of fufu dis Igbo traders swalow,nd U be wonderin if dey ar manualy trying 2 de- worm demselves by stoning it to death
fashion police star #JoanRivers dies at 81. May her soul rest in peace.
RIP @Joan_Rivers u ar indeed a great nd achieved comedianne. she has paved way for other comedians
u're dating a gal 4 6yrs nd she has neva Farted in frnt of u, brk up wit ha,coz if she can hide common fart 4 6yrs den she has secrets.
The number of "followers" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had just 12. #fact
u people think being unfollowed on twitter is Annoying. Have u ever been deleted on BBM while typin a message?dat shit is like rapture.
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore..... A dude was wearing one when he got shot by a womans husband.
Guy: babe, I want u to follow me on twitter. Babe: twitter? Pls let's go somewhere else, I don't like that restaurant!
There's Always Gonna Be A Girl Hotter than your Gf. There's Always Gonna Be A Boy Richer than your Bf. LEARN TO BE CONTENTED!!!
Be honest; Would you slap your mum for $20,000,000,000 ??
It’s only a Naija babe that will put on makeup right before she goes swimming.....end up turning the pool to rainbow
You can't be UGLY and then play #hardtoget It doesn't work that way; you're already #HardToWant