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Verna gene
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I need all of the love I can get right now. Please please give me a few seconds of your time and write me. #AlwaysKeepFighting
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Why send nudes when you can show up naked?
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I usually like to wear Rebel's hair as a scarf for warmth & fashion. #PitchPerfect2 in theaters today. instagram.com/p/2uESR9uXVU/
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Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.
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A mean habit on our streets is several girls or boys rambling abreast making room for no one to pass by. Better cut it out. KS1913
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The littlest @RememberBetty members are jumping for joy over the news and all that is to come! 💗instagram.com/p/2ryjstjZIB/m
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Girls, if you ever find a man unresponsive to your advances, usually a text exclaiming "SHAWTY IM TRYIN' TA HOLLA ATCHA!" Does the trick
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Thank you to #TheBHFamily for all your birthday wishes! I am so blessed to be able to share it with… instagram.com/p/2rsoWRLWQu/
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It's good to be king because: - ladies - lots of gold - bowed to constantly - portraits are amazeballs - always meal time - jazzy underpants
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"ATTENTION ALL FEMALES Guys DON'T get hints. You have to be straight forward."
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Going back to bed because I can.
Rebel Wilson is launching a plus-size clothing line later this year: usm.ag/1Ff9VY2 pic.twitter.com/3hPiGYQnNo
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@bossypants72 Love it! That was one of my first favorite books. #IHeartRamona
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*trumpets sound* *sexy gal pops outta cake* *streamers and ballons fall from above* Happy Birthday Danny! @dannywood :-*
Husband brought me chocolates because I had a bad bum day at the hospital. So I'll lay off tormenting him with frogs.
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(937): I can’t hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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Yippie Skippy! My ladies days just showed up....that explains so much. #CockChops
William Petersen and Marg Helgenberger will return for the series finale of #CSI. #CBSUpfront
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Louis C.K. hosts the final show of Season 40 with musical guest @rihanna! youtu.be/aee0f7ZhfBE #SNL40Finale
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Spaghetti alla Carbonara is like Mac & Cheese for adults. Creamy, rich and dangerously tasty: foodtv.com/2zdbi. pic.twitter.com/bRTy4qNxbV
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You should see my toes wiggle. It's been entertaining for hours. I'm about to take off my socks to see the naked version. This is serious.
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#BreakingPoint is back for with 3 NEW episodes on @DiscoveryID. Tune in & set your DVR! Thurs 5/14 & 5/21 ow.ly/i/aMRKE
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It's been confirmed! Going to see Pitch Perfect 2 on Friday with Awesome Nerd! Aca-Believe It! @AnnaKendrick47 @Brittanysnow @RebelWilson
If you get offended when gay people hit on you, guess what? You should be flattered anyone is hitting on you. Your personality sucks.
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Tomorrow night the final episode of #RestaurantImpossible on @FoodNetwork for this season. Please be sure you spread the word!!
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(203): He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn’t getting a blowjob. I think he may be too in love with me.
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When I draw birds, I draw flying mustaches.
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Just calm down. He probably forgot to text you back because he's at work or fucking someone else right now
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Massage parlor porn pisses me off. I'm all "stop rubbing oil on her vagina! She's gonna get a UTI or yeast infection! Ughhh!!"
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"There is no way you could come from my loins. As soon as we get home the first thing im gonna do is punch your momma in the mouth."
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6: Can I sleep with you guys? Me: Why what's wrong? 6: Nothing-it's just that your pillow smells nice & I ❤️you. I didn't stand a chance.
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Grandma sentenced to LIFE for running girl to death huff.to/1K2XBgy
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I think I'm spending to much time on here....I just had a dream where someone was mean to me and I thought what #HashTag I would use.
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down....* so do Carpenter songs.
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Now that my new EP #4x4 is out, I can start leaking info about the rest of the album coming this fall...slowly. 👌🏼
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Aca-Believe it! #PitchPerfect2 opens Friday can't wait to see it. :-) @RebelWilson @BHjortSorensen
The level of my laryngitis has progressed to Mickey Mouse. I really want to spend my lunch break making dirty prank phone calls to people…
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Having absolutely no idea what to do with your face while people sing happy birthday to you
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I am single because... well.... I could lie and say ""because i am tired of getting hurt"" ...but honestly no one wants me
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