"Ya know I'm not a good guy." "You know I'm a jerk." Seriously I'm talking to you I'm not gonna stalk you. #MyDatingLife
The term, "Quirkyalone" means someone who is single and does not feel the need to date for the sake of it.
When meeting someone for the 1st time, ask them what they LIKE to do, rather than what they do. It’ll get them excited.
Let's skip the drinks, go home, put on some old Percy Faith records, and play truth or dare.
"My dear, the truth alone I utter
In saying you’re as fat as butter,
Fat ladies I love, so don’t decline,
To be my charming Valentine”
Getting ready for #SNL
so excited! @nbcsnl
There's popcorn all over my kitchen....but it came out tasty.
Gonna make stove top popcorn and watch teevee.....whooo freaking hoooo! #SaturdayNight
dogs have vaginas
Having a vagina doesn't make me less of a person it makes me human.
for those loving someone in secret.
Soteriophobia is a psychological condition which causes a person to refuse depending on others out of fear of being disappointed.
Pissing off Taylor Swift probably isn't the smartest thing to do. Bitch gonna cut Kanye with a gardening tool and burn his shit down.
Awesome Nerd sent me @Snoopy
stickers from Wisconsin for Bah-Humbug Suck Face Day! \O/
I don't always use a wheelchair
But when I do, it's because the nurses are in bed and it's time to start the wheelchair jousting tournament
Dear Women, please take note…
I'm so freaking excited! Bye Bye Asshole! #ChefPhillip #TopChef
Please send Chef Phillip home and not cute Chef Jeremy #RestaurantWars #TopChef
Yep i'm watching #ForensicFiles
better than soaps. #MurderAndScience
Moms is in Florida and she ate Blue Bell without me. They need to be nation wide cause I miss it.
Chocolate ice cream can reduce and relieve mental stress.
High School students in 2015 have the same anxiety levels as insane asylum patients in the 1950s.
Is slow death by spreadsheet a thing? It feels like it's a thing.
Ever reach a point in your life where you sit and think, "there's no way someone will want to put up with me for the rest of their lives"?
Candidates for office are flying around the country like daddy long legs on a hot stove plate. Give us a rest. KS1878
Ugh...the mean neighbor lady is moving to the complex.
In 1991, New Kids on the Block's halftime show was preempted for Desert Storm news. It was broadcast after the game.
OMG! I'm an idiot....scared myself reading haunted history on Pinterest. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep...someone come over.
instead of the #SuperBowl
cause I don't care for football. #GoBroncos
Happy Birthday Darling! xoxo @eddieizzard
chocolate cake. i'd take a pic but i ate it, obviously
One does not simply walk past his wife in the kitchen and not grab her ass.
And now, the first picture from the "Gilmore Girls" reunion huff.to/1TLgEje
Love of my life. #ChocolateWhore
I didn't do a snow dance but we ended up with a snow day anyway. #ThreeDayWeekend
It's snowing in the south-time to cancel church and go buy white bread and some milk just like Jesus did in the olden days.
I don't want to go to school today....too much bitching going on. You're a volunteer not the Queen of the book fair.
There are are roughly 100 million single adults living in the USA
"Let's just watch this now" - Translation: SHUT UP!
My boob itches... Does that mean someone's talking about them?
"Go for Kenda." Tonight is the season finale of #HomicideHunter
and I'm gonna be sad. @carlmarino1 @LtJoeKenda @DiscoveryID
Home from school and today went much better and now it's time for peace and quiet.
So yesterday the person that I thought was mad at me wasn't & I got chewed out by someone that shouldn't be mad at me but was. #WTH
"What makes you think you can just walk in there and get what we need?"
"They're called boobs, Ed."
Supervised and Unsupervised, 1950's
I miss Dan Rather on these nights. "The Democratic race in Iowa is tighter than a lug nut on a '53 Plymouth."
This news will make every "Law & Order: SVU" fan SO HAPPY huff.to/1Sz81Yr