Plot twist: I'm always apologising for being right and having to share my fries.
I am single because I have the most important questions or need to get the acceptance of the one that will come to the gym. twitter.com/madamDmadamm/s…
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Yes, this. Writers of color, of endangered communities, pitch me your books now. World needs to hear you. twitter.com/nicole_soojung…
Bad news for @premierleague
defenders - Jose Mourinho is expecting big things from @AnthonyMartial
Fuck it, Game of thrones character thread
Martial on the bench. Fellaini to start. Faisal to roll his eyes so hard he can't finish this tw... twitter.com/ManUtd/status/…
Let's look at the provisions of the new broadcast censorship rules one by one. We must resist this.
🎶Woke up this morning feeling fine, got Man United on my mind, Jose’s playing the way that United should… �#mufc
fellas is it gay to drink water? the male body is 60% water, you pretty much consuming another man?.... Idk🤔☕️
This is why MSNBC is better than CNN lol twitter.com/Breznican/stat…
If you eat her ass during an eclipse you become immortal
what are the current odds on President Buhari returning? I want to place a bet.
Talking to person on deathrow: "I swear, the SCARIEST FEELING EVER is that tense moment before you meet your in-laws for the first time."
A problem shared is a problem one too many people know.
What a bunch of fucking ass-holes. twitter.com/RitaOnwurah/st…
Relationships are hard; you're there, readying for a weekend of football in just your briefs but really, you're off to someone's wedding.
Pls ur RTs will go a long way. My mum needs kidney transplant in India ASAP which will cost N12m. She's currently on dialysis at UBTH.
We love Jollof almost as much as our friends at EatDrinkLagos and we're excited to move everyone attending with ₦2000 off rides that day.
Like joke like joke, Nigeria got dragged into US' racial tensions sha.
Sure, the cancer was aggressive. But the chemotherapy was also very aggressive. There was aggression on both sides
WENT HIKING TO A WATERFALL AND MISSED THE UNITED GAME. YOU BETTER NEVER EVER LEAVE ME, DAMOLA!
So, when's the rest of the world gonna invade America to rid her of her Nazi scourge.
Yuck! Don't WhatsApp call me, it's invasive and I hate it...
"How about FaceTime?"
Oh, yeah that's cool. I love facetiming.
Nigeria's problems are many, true, but adding an absentee president to the mix is making it one more problem too many.
It's about time D'banj announced a new nickname.
When Jose Mourinho gives you his medal! 🏅manutd.co/B2j
Things I'm grateful for? Well, they've stopped putting those stickers inside the Indomie pack, now my noodles don't taste so funny.
Malia's Kenyan forehead coming thru! twitter.com/Complex/status…
Food I store away in the fridge is my intellectual property, and I am not above using the courts to protect it.
Wow. Wizkid blew before Don Baba J.
Wait, what's the release fee clause for Asensio, Ed Woodward?
At least my club's striker has a competitive debut goal. At other club's theirs have red hair.
LMAO, I swear It's like, we strengthened to retain our Europa league trophy cos we are dreaming if it's the league and UCL we want.
LMAO. It's gonna be another tough season for us.
Someone tell Seun we can see his "likes" on the TL.
Which comes first, the viral tweet or the SoundCloud link?
THIS NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS twitter.com/DannyDutch/sta…
you can't let anyone named Livinus chat shit to you
I'm calling bullshit on scientists; if evolution was real, I'd be immune to pepper spray by now...
Hey guys, remember Pokemon Go? LOL
Everywhere outside my bed is lava.
Feeling all melancholic? Are you down in the dumps? Ask your doctor if putting a booty in a Gucci belt is right for you.
I think I'm a warlock; I saw some guy yawning earlier and I've yet to yawn myself... Wait, never mind.
- "what's the nature of your problem?"
- "i hurt my neck from dabbing so much...i can't seem to stop!"
[crying whilst dabbing furiously]