- "It's my birthday!" - "show off."
yellow E.T. back scratcher... for those hard to reach places. Made by 5 year olds in Asia. Batteries and other parts sold separately. [All pictures and stories in this account are entirely fictional. Any relation to person(s) living or dead is entirely fictional.]
If you're in London, December 2nd & 4th, don't miss out on a chance to see French Montana & Ashanti live! For ticket info, check out: @ttbird86
Christ Church Cathedral... #Lagos #Colonial #Old_Building #Portuguese #Church #CMS #Marina
Ok, she's starting to freak me out... Maybe, she's laughing at me and not with me
Just added: "the ability to make 4yr olds be so gay when explaining what a thésaurus is" to my resume.
Wood on cloth: mama backs her bornboy.
GPOYDIHTHTGSW: gratuitous picture of yourself damn I have to hit the gym soon Wednesday.
football manager gives the best hygiene tips...
'and out of the darkness a god emerged, worthy of all praise; the locals believed it had something to do with its pizza flavoring.'
A naming ceremony and the rain...
'The perfect face'
Dining story: ghost figurines
Really hate this key, anytime I'm going out, I pick it up and next thing I have to go all berserk.
say hello to ma lil fwend
I met this girl on the internet, and when we met, found out she was a catfish. So I said: nom nom nom
[pulls away from kissing] "you know, they said it'd be just like the real thing, but i didn't believe them, till i tried it myself. You're such a great kisser, Pebbles. [Continues kissing]
a storm's coming & all i have lay beneath the skies... that and this paw-paw tree.
Gratuitous Picture Of Yourself Wednesday: I really need to have a mani & pedi guys. #gpoyw #sexi #all_the_ladies_want_me #is_true_no_you_shut_up
Truthful Tuesday: I call this, The Fart Box, cos it does a horrible R2-D2 impression, all it does is just, fart...
#MovieQuoteMonday: can't remember the movie but it was a great quote
Mugshot Monday: may the optimism of your tomorrow be the root of your today.
Welcome to Lagos, pls have your umbrella at hand at all times and remember to call me a fucking mug-head when ever you poke it in me face...
Will never understand why the internet bemoans catfishes, I devoured this in less than 20mins... #yummy #nom_nom_nom
Sunday evenings are for football pubs that also serve fish pepper soup with plantain -__-
Selfie. Ghanaian filter. Can you see me?
Took a picture of the sunset.
Nail cutting: the first cut is the deepest. Ouch
GO OUT THERE AND ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS. AS I HAVE! more on Leo later on...
about to throw some D's on these nuts... See, I don't really get hip-hop but I'm a true follower, ok?!
so, i'm leaving Twitter now...
I used Google Images to search for 'needle in a haystack' and all it returned were photos of Courtney Love's heroin arm.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned unless the other woman finds out and becomes scorned too
That’s a double dose of scorned
Kanye West stares at a full length mirror. All time stops.
Relationship advice: dump them first.
I said "nothing" but really I was thinking of a cig' filled with little people smoking littler cigarettes filled with super-cool sensations.
just cos i don't want you doesn't mean i want anyone having you - crazy exes.
kinda comforting that good food is always available when you're sad; makes you almost forget you wear thinking why it's not yet married.
"It's better to have loved and lost than not at all" isn't something you should be telling a hysterical & heartbroken girl holding an axe.
I decided I didn't need banks anymore when I realised saving my money in old Nickelback cases was practically the same thing.
In Soviet Russia a bar walks into men. The case of the man-killing-bar remains unsolved.
A gentleman will open the door and insist the woman goes first; great way of checking if there're any landmines or snipers behind the door.
Drugs never solve any problems except you're an adult who wants to experience nirvana for a few..