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faizzy!
Australians must hate reading all these April fools tweets.
listen man, no amount is too much when pranking, so yes! i'd like to order the car that turns into a turd...and i'll be paying in cow dung.
You just won an iPad send your social security number to this Nigerian address~ not an April fool joke!
Retweeted by faizzy!
...her name was April, and her only son went on to become a comedian but everyone just called him: April's fool.
my Playstation got stolen... i have no one to console me.
...it's like my feofle say: "akto ba ya mutwa, sai de ye sha wuya!"
at an insurance convention, the rep' for life insurers just keeps screaming: WE ARE IN A DYING INDUSTRY! everyone just laughs & laughs...
WTF PLEASE RT THIS TO THE POLICE NOW: WAS LEANING ON MY MASERATI AND A WEIRDO CAME FROM AROUND THE CORNER ??WITH A KEY?? AND DROVE OFF IN IT
Retweeted by faizzy!
found my second grey hair today 😖😫😞
i solemnly swear i'm up, ready to start chasing beaches and bedding farm tools...
the best thing about technology has to be smartphones, for they've made it easier for us to avoid looking at ugly people...
i wonder, if suicide were spelt seaside, would people still willingly buy KFC chicken?
- hey girl, wanna come back to my lair? - sure! [takes her back to lair, mauls her] and that, girls is why you shouldn't date a bear.
[lays on psychiatrist's couch] - i've been having a lot of dark thoughts lately... - like what? - how Ghanaians & Senegalese see at night.
i hate people who tell lies; i hate myself
i'm on a search for the perfect woman; one who wants to do it underwater...but i'm not holding my breath.
every time a polar bear dies, blame a rapper. . .
in a perfect world, schools will teach important life skills; like how to make & drink coffee with your non mouse hand...
if you put glasses on Louis Lane's parents they stop being her parents and become invisible to her. ..
asked a homeless person if he's ever seen this TV show about a neurotic brilliant doctor and he answered: no House...
Homeless people don't listen to house music.
Retweeted by faizzy!
told this homeless guy a knock-knock joke, he didn't get it.
in Nigeria: for every action, there's a confused, misguided and something something social media overreaction...
went to this store and there was a sign that said: sorry, we are closed! now i can't stop wondering just how sorry they really are...