Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Hans & René After Dark x Eat.Drink.Lagos
Retweeted by faizzy!
Who knew Nosa could be punny #BullSheet
When you wake up in the morning, take a few moments of quiet introspection then count all the new mosquito bites you find on you...
I'm a really nice guy once you get to no me.
Retweeted by faizzy!
Lord Bendtner! If na me i no go gree this kind arinfin o!…
New Flash episode... Gotta make that office WiFi work tomorrow.
*police stops & searches dude* *sees a piece of cutlery on him* "what's this for?" "you never know when you'll have to fork someone up"
If you e-mail me and I don't reply, it's almost always cos you're a dickhead.
The problem with having too much time on my hands is the stress I have to go thru buckling on all the hundreds of watches...
Hey girl, wanna come over to my house & chill™
Might get a cat so I can take days of work... - Boss, I can't come in today. I was about leaving then the cat sat on my lap! - Oh! PET HER!.
Currently trying to figure out which music streaming app to use... If only my ancestors could see me; having first world problems.
absolutely hate offices with such small spaces that you can't even somersault in...
Nigeria! Gotta love her sense of humour; ask for creative writers and you get a someone who takes minutes at "confidential" meetings.
Serious question: any creative writers out there in Lagos wanting to join a team of writers for a show? No money but you get credits!
when a white dude gets out his guitar at a party
Retweeted by faizzy!
Turn on the AC & Chill™
If you open a glove compartment and find gloves in them; get out! Owner is a serial killer.
Requited love is when you can provide abdominal satisfaction to one who loves you even in death. That butt is tasty!…
When you think about how a dog's love is forever and unconditional, never being around humans again doesn't seem that bad...
I've learnt that life is really short and we should always appreciate its little pleasures. When next you see a fine arse, smack it!
Abou Ben Adhem - Abou Ben Adhem – may his tribe increase! Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace, And...
Ever walked into the kitchen and just tired of the sight of dirty dishes everywhere, greasy stains all over? Just burn the house down!
Yes, when you see pothole, you slow down.…
Who's the bigger liar?
looks like it's still Halloween season in Taraba...
if your ex dumped you for being disgusting but really, you always took out the plates before peeing in the sink, call & tell her she's wrong
being a guy can be tough; really needed some great news this week, so i just took a pregnancy test...
It's 2015, if your relationship isn't labeled as "complicated," go back to the time you belong & stop fucking it up for the rest of us.
Best thing about December? All the House, Trance mixes! Can't fucking wait 🔥🔥💥
By 2016, I hope green pants are finally banned.
Best thing about having a Warri babe must be how they never cum last.
Someone rammed into me today and I was just about to beat his arse when I realised he was Asian and he might know karate...
Now that I can make polls, should I use them for
I was having one of those weird day where absolutely nothing was going wrong and then someone woke me up.
GPS but to help us find our way back to a time we were happy...
step 1: check price for film school step 2: cry in fetal position step 3: repeat
got burnt by the iron this morning - for a brief moment I got a glimpse of what women go through; was burnt by just the tip...
The Walking Dead is a terrifying look at the world when Wi-Fi no longer exists.
Retweeted by faizzy!
i'm the best musician in the country; i'm just a really shit one in my city
unfair how a man can sleep around and he gets no labels but a woman makes 30-40 mistakes and she's a "cheerful giver"
oxygen masks are the worst; who wants to look like oxygen?

Twitter Sign-in
We are going to send you to Twitter to authorize twiends.
Please note that we never tweet or follow people without your permission.