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Chameleon Eyes
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if you think a girl is wife material because she plays video games & has a nice ass; you're probably the reason the divorce rate is so high
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β€œ@gwatts77: I don't care if your vagina is sore. Rub some IcyHot on it and get back in the game champ.” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­
Tongue rings gross me out so much. 😷
Off work. Let the debauchery begin.
"If you leave me you oughtta go die." Word Bey πŸ‘
Okay I know what fitness class I'm joining. 😏pic.twitter.com/tWNZT3Ft4ww
"Shit my life is too short to care what you think."
Woke up and could barely open my eye. This should be fun. πŸ˜‘
Tom Petty soothe my aching soul.
Short term goal: to buy healthy food when I grocery shop...and actually eat it.
My last customer of the day was completely faded at 8pm. Get it how you livin dude. Hahah.
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ What theinstagram.com/p/mDmgVHrZr3/2jOe5iE
My short ass can't even touch the ground... 😩instagram.com/p/mDl2NkLZqm/F
"Let's make love. Let's go somewhere they might discover us. Let's get lost in lust."
No matter how hard I try I always say "bafroom" instead of bathroom.
β€œ@rage_chaos: Women don't get jealous, they get fucking psycho... like a boss!” Accurate πŸ‘Œ
The new Jello pudding commercial, with jingle by Cosby Steals a Gnosh pic.twitter.com/yxW0hrMPOB
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Tupac just came on the radio. Idgaf if my manager doesn't like it, it's playing. #vibin
To the self I once was: I miss you.
Playing slow jams at work tryna get these people pregnant. πŸ™Š
I never realize I'm older until everyone around me looks younger.
The only way to go is up. Baby, get high with me.
It's a smoke and cuddle day.
We all have different goals. Not everyone looks good in a size zero. #hipsandthighs #curves… instagram.com/p/l2cDT0LZrU/
To people who say "I miss you" and then make no effort to see you: S my D. This includes myself
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Sexy is hard. πŸ˜’
Smoking and cooking with headphones in. I'll never leave my kitchen again.
Clint Eastwood. ❀️
Inspired to throw down in the kitchen. Anyone wanna eat? Lol
Alone for the night. Not sure if that's a good thing. 😏
Where is my generation's Nipsey Russell?
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When she starts bitchin', all she's really saying is "Spank me."
You are the one, the one that lies close to me. Whisper, "Hello, I missed you quite terribly."
β€œ@thatUPSdude: So you will suck a dick but won't drink tap water?” πŸ™ŒπŸ‘
Considering tattooing my body extensively then joining a nudist colony and growing weed. #hightweet
Next stop Wake & Bake. Plane preparing for lift off in 3...2...1...
I need a friend to be my therapist. You get paid in green, but I'm not talkin dollars.