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Red
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Artist and Entertainer are two very different things.
How come when a woman's sick she still has housework, children, and work? My man lays in bed. Something's wrong here. Hmmm...
@UBogart: U have to feed me soup, keep me hydrated & tickle my nuts when im sick or i'll turn into a giant baby” men... Gotta love em.
Your relationship should make you feel the way good music does.
"Men aren't supposed to say this, because we love our mothers. But your meatloaf is right up there with hers." ❤️
"What you eat don't make me shit and who you fuck don't make me cum." 👌
If they don't need you, you certainly don't need them.
I bet she was everyone's Sharona. Not just his.
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I'm "I find it difficult to keep my mouth shut when I dislike someone" years old.
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Are we really just going to pretend that ALL the No.1 pencils didn't meet with some kind of foul play? I'm looking at you, No. 2 pencils.
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Men... Stop shaving every damn thing. Women are looking for MEN.
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Guide to panty shopping for girls gifted in their derrière: Boyshort = thong High-waisted = thong Thong = thong (Just go commando)
Take a hit, pass it back, suck his dick... Thank me later.
Fun fact: primitive lunar calendars were based around the female menstrual cycle. "Who run the world? Girls."
"I don't care if the whole world stops fuckin with me, because I fucks with me, and there are no bunk beds in caskets."
Shiiiit. If Santa really wanted me to behave, he'd stop with the presents and start paying my bills.
Sexy elf lingerie in the works. The real Christmas present starts after the kids go to bed.
A guy said "Hey gorgeous can I ask u a ?" I thought he was hitting on me but it was a spammer. All is right with the world. Carry on.
Noticing more and more engagement rings online for sale. Guess it really was just summer love. 😂
When I leave the house wearing sweatpants... pic.twitter.com/LByIdq0QdU
Propaganda is a hell of a drug.
...And then I just laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
When someone warns me against Marijuana, I realize all the info they have ever learned is from the 1950's or earlier...
@BluntPorn: RT if you want one pic.twitter.com/9bOhRuwseY” 😍 this makes me moist between my thighs.
😂😂😂😂😂 *faceppic.twitter.com/xtfvg4Vfvn4Vfvn
2.My family deserves to be treated the same no matter what they look like, where they are, or what they're doing. They deserve to feel SAFE.
1. I'm tired of hearing people whine, "I'm tired of hearing about Ferguson. Can we talk about something else?" No. I'll tell you WHY..
Go ahead... take your best shot. Just know... You're kind of a pussy. pic.twitter.com/Qbnle0qBuj
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in the mood for: ⚪ weed ⚪ sex ⚪ munchies 🔘 all of the above
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*queue the sexy music*
If you don't put enough effort into a great person, someone else will!
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Woke up still full from yesterday. Still feels better than any hangover I've ever had.
My job is done for the day. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! ☺️ pic.twitter.com/t737cCZcLw
The thanksgiving feast is cooking as we speak. Come grab a plate ya'll! Mama's putting her foot in it today!
I just want happiness... 😞
"Like a drop of rain falling through a passing wind, you keep pulling me down down down down down. Can we get back up again?"
The rain on my window obscures the view the way the tears in my heart can't see what to do, and I can't tell you how much I miss you.
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Every time your heart breaks, it shrinks a little.
The worst part of losing love, is knowing you will never love like that again. You may love, but it will be dim comparison.