Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Red
Want to Grow Your
Social Media, Free?
[grabs dentist by the shirt collar] WHAT TOOTHPASTE DO YOU RECOMMEND THAT THE OTHER 9 DENTISTS DONT?!
Retweeted by Red
So hey um, if you're not busy this Friday... Uhh, wanna go to a lecture on quantum physics theories of black holes?
Retweeted by Red
Just saw a nipple ring so pretty it made me consider getting mine pierced. 😍
Me: Honey, I have a joke for you Hub: Ok M: How many men does it take to change the toilet roll H: IDK Me: [Throws TP] ONE! IT TAKES ONE
Retweeted by Red
June Marieezy is Bae. 😍
if you never hit yourself in the face were you actually hula hooping? lol you feel me hoopers
Retweeted by Red
I'll doit free RT @YungKeem4rmLB: “@FeelMySneakers: For 1million would you take this ride? pic.twitter.com/IZtyXKsh5Y”naw iont fuck with heights
Retweeted by Red
I used to walk into a room and wonder if the people in there liked me, now I wonder if I'll like them.
ᴸᴱˢˢ ᴴᵁᴹᴬᴺ ᴹᴼᴿᴱ ᴮᴱᴵᴺᴳ
Retweeted by Red
Oh, your account is NSFW? Around here that's called 'Twitter.'
Retweeted by Red
I woke up with my middle finger in the upright and locked position.
Its a go fuck yourself kinda day
Retweeted by Red
I think birds should be required to wear diapers.
Retweeted by Red
*gets high, forgets to text you back.*
Retweeted by Red
Easy ways for high school girls to lose weight for a perfect bikini body? You're in fucking high school, bitch...how hard can it be?
Retweeted by Red
Single moms slay. Who wouldn't want to date a single mom? Her pussy is certified as good enough to nut in. Just sayin.
Have you tried just telling her to calm down? *snickers -Me, telling my 8yo how to handle a girl that yells at him at school.
Retweeted by Red
I love when customers start flirting. All I see is dollar signs.
I need a blunt... 😒
Morning head would be so rad this morning.
One thing adult life has taught me to be true. There are three languages everyone speaks: 1. Pussy 2. Money 3. Weed
"The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bees. I want money." 💵💵💵
Booty watchin 👀
Got my shit locked down like fort knox in my bra. Leggings don't have pockets.
Drunk tweet. 😜
Kinder soccer spectator drinking game. 1 shot whenever a player: Cries Falls on their ass Scores in the wrong goal Asks when snack is
Retweeted by Red
I'm smiling because I know I don't need you. I love me enough for the both of us. Imma be alright. ✌️
Study says the bigger Mom's fatty, the more likely your kids will be in MENSA.😉sofiavergara.com/beauty/women-w…5
Send me a pic of your books.
Retweeted by Red
Southern men talk like whiskey. Smooth and strong tongued. 😍
Don't get me started on silent P's. "Pterodactyl"?? Really? PAH-terodactyl? Pfuck you, english language.
Is anyone else as bothered by silent letters? Like the word "queue", wtf is that shit?
Today I saw an Arabic man in a cowboy hat. Your argument is invalid.
Rearranging my thoughts from least to most fucked up
Retweeted by Red
Why get mad when you could get high
Retweeted by Red
Sometimes you just need a little weed and some sweet, sweet jazz.
Ganja babe. My sweet ganja babe...
There's a special place in hell for people who drive crown vics.
You're the only person who's ever made me cry while I'm high...
"A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be." -Albert Einstein
Artist and Entertainer are two very different things.
How come when a woman's sick she still has housework, children, and work? My man lays in bed. Something's wrong here. Hmmm...




Twitter Sign-in
We are going to send you to Twitter to authorize twiends.
Please note that we never tweet or follow people without your permission.
Continue