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bil∆lt-j

[creepy Arab men be like:] -so i've been talking to this girl for 5 months -really? how's it going? -she hasn't replied yet..
back in ma hometown (@ Shay W 3assal in Tripoli, North Lebanon) swarmapp.com/c/5B9MLIGtbI0
Coworkers, another family that you don't get to choose but forced to… instagram.com/p/BKng3HCAodXh…
i don't correct my typos when i'm texting people so that they wouldn't know when i'm actually drunk texting them
Breaking: someone somewhere wasted a huge chunk of money twitter.com/CNN/status/778…
Turns out that my 40-something y.o boss is not married. WHAT HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO?
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Even my boss is afraid that one day I will explode.
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Customer: kam shakhes beyta3me el farrouj? Me: shakhsen tlete. Boss: *stares at me* Me: ya dob yshabbe3 shakhes.
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Boss: the business is going down Boss: we might have to cut down your salaries *takes a vacation to dubai* Boss: the business is going down
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When you have deep conversations with your boss
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when you have work at 1 pm but your boss is an ass
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sometimes i wonder if my boss knows any other words than "wen soret"
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My boss made me take off my peace necklace because "mamnou3 el shi3arat"
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My boss asked me if I have depression yesterday
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and i see war on the screen, it is cruel and unclean, but i still worry more about you
i'm awake at 3:30AM blocking random people that i don't follow
X: you're so cute how come you're single?? me:
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shrink: tell me about your sex life me:
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+ although my boss and coworkers still don't quite understand my queers and differences but at least they've gotten used to them
although i can easily do that with a new boss but mej new social interactions and introductions
the #1 reason i haven't quit my job yet is that i've studied my boss for more than 3 years so i can easily manipulate him to get what i want
boss: you're an hour late me: i was an hour and a half late yesterday so i'm actually improving boss: hmm.. you're right. you're good to go
but i have to say i'm proud of having this following/followers ratio without being a girl
part 2 *deactivates*
Okht Fatima, I know you're vegan but you can't sacrifice a peach instead of a sheep on Adha..
"Zeinab, I understand you're a feminist but you can't end your dua with 'awomen' instead of 'amen'"
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Update: I found this person and we are now friends. #XrayAndVav
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@Coop_White update I found that person 4 months ago and I couldn't be happier ❤️
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oh wow this was after my first day at work twitter.com/silentwanderer…
Participating in life requires a level of caring I can never reach.
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At least my sad life inspire good tweets
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Life is about killing time until time kills you.
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Doc: Are you sexually active? Me: [thinks about all the times life had fucked me] Me: It's complicated.
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imagine a keaton henson concert, it would sound like a kindergarten from all the crying
did keaton henson make me sad or did i turn on keaton henson because i already am sad
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istg insomnia is the source to all my problems
i'm usually quiet and calm but when i'm having an argument i'm like a mother defending its babies
my boss thinks that i'm careless about work, little does he know that i'm careless about everything else as well
انا: *بضحك للدني* الدني: انا مصاحبة.
 
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