Calm down Man United, you're a mid table team
This week on twitter: 8 new followers, 2 new unfollowers and followed 34 people via unfollowers.com/?s=wt
Sam gets to meet the Chelsea squad on my birthday, and would rather do that then spend it with me... Ahh selfish tit
My brother was just sick hahahaah what a poom
I'm going to look for a new toaster today but the big question is do I get a 2 slice or 4 slice toaster?
Lucy's hubby has a well safe trim
tiffany told me bobby went "balls deep" whatever that means :?
Patrick must have his hat super glued to his head
im alright what was it like beng the prison bitch
The shower curtain in my hotel room is green. I asked Joe Hart what colour his shower curtain was in his hotel room & he said his was yellow
If I was doing the cyclone trial I’d get my ginger balls out for the bants and slap Amy with them #Bealed #imacelebrity
I tuck my cock in my socks coz it's fucking massive
And its his movie premiere tonight
Micah Richards said a tree in his garden blew over. I didn't believe him so he sent me a picture & now I believe him. pic.twitter.com/kkk4u8EBHs
My recycling boxes have blown over in the garden but I've made the decision not to tidy up the mess until the wind has fully died down.
So Tom Daley's boyfriend is 39...