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Brad Taylor
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Aint eem 2015 yet lol
I just got booked at Floydfest
"Keep em in the head and you can keep em in bed" The realest shit I've ever heard from a drunk at the bar.
People that eat with their mouth open.
Any dude that trips over cellulite or stretch marks on a girls booty is a weirdo.
It's 23 degrees outchea.
Had to put pasties on to keep my nipples from ripping shirts.
If you dont find racism hilarious then I suggest you crawl back into the womb.
"@iH8nigrs: Just watched #LionKing and the message I got out of the film is that segregation is a good thing." @ThatJunkyardCat hahahahaha
I need a room full of mirrors so I can be surrounded by winners.
Karma has no deadline.
"You better be good to her cause...." Let me interrupt and say that you can get deez nuts.
"@adathomp: Aaand now I feel like a douche." I always do. Embrace it.
Ah! QHop is a straight up G.
I don't like reggie no moe, I like dabs!!! Dabs dabs dabs dabs...abba dabba doo!
Getting back to the grind. Just confirmed 4 bands to play for in '15, auditioning for 3 more next month.
I like my beat down low and my top let back. With my Kenwoods high and my tint pitch black.
I love holding the door for someone and they move at the pace of Nickleback album sales. My chivalry is time-sensitive, ma'am.
I hate when I think my shirt is wrinkled and then I realize it's just my rock hard abs under it.
This weather is on point today 👌
What if I started tweeting like a normal person and said things like "This weather is on point today 👌"
I've never been concerned about my image. That's why I'm so chill cause I do me, and IDGAF what people think. Try it!
I'm not a vegetarian no more. I am delivert.I don't like veggies no more. I said I like chicken...chicken chicken chicken chicken balubababa
Gave awkward high 5s to @eNAASTY & @ThatJunkyardCat cause I'm freakishly tall, awkward and stoned.
No more day drinking
Playing Super Smash Bros on the Wii with the homies
Its a full moon tonight. I wanna be a part of all the shenanigans that come with it.
Make sure to follow me on Ello. Follow me on Twitter & Instagram. Follow me home. Move in with me & join my family. This is your life now.
2 baked avacados + 1 spoon = where have you been all my life?
Plot Twist: Jay Z & Joe Camel on Wife Swap. Bey doesn't notice any difference.
During hugs i'll pat you on the back once cause I think it's funny, twice cause you're my baby now and I'm trying to burp you.
I've always loved the idea of not being what people expect me to be.
Shout out to everybody that pees in the shower.
Is there a month for testicular cancer? A "Save the nutsacks" campaign would be dope.
I only hope to be successful enough for people to take my pictures and make memes of phrases I've never said.
Your Vote don't mean shit when you're in handcuffs in the back of a car for absolutely no reason.
Exercise your right to know your rights.
Maaaaan, fugg a vote.
Put that sandwich down and let me love you.
Wide the fugg awake
Tonight's show at @MartinsDowntown is sold out!
I always have the time to bark back at a dog.
*closes menu* i'll have the after meal mints right now
Kick it with people who brings out the best in you.
When someone ends their story with "I guess you had to be there" I like to remind them I wasn't invited.
Living life somewhere between sin & sincere but I'd rather die as an honest sinner than live as a false prophet.
Just witnessed @kylescottforry kickin with Zac Brown Band, no big deal.
People living in competition...