Let go of the need to be wanted by everybody
Been watching Game of Thrones lately. Imma start schedulin shit 2 weeks ahead of time just so I can say "fasho, see u in a fortnight, bruh."
I think one reason "covfefe" is funny is because our president is very dumb.
I wish someone cared about me as much as Melania doesn't care about Trump.
Music is at all time high right now and I'm glad to be alive.
Female bodies are the essence of art
*post a picture of your Mom & I
Don't snapchat your whole hibachi experience. Act like you've been somewhere before.
Flight Attendant: "Good Morning!"
Good Mor...no wait, what?
Who would like to give me a gig in LA? Remember, if you don't, I will have to continue living in Virginia. Have you been to Virginia
It's a beautiful Sunday to flake on some plans.
Yeah...Trump is an idiot, but do I let it ruin my day? Yeah
*Walks in Tacos Rojas*
Lady: I call it in, dunno what he say on da phone 👏🏾whurr👏🏾my👏🏾food👏🏾boy!
*Walks out of Tacos Rojas*
I just came here to play Golden Tee
Homegirl from Colored Purple look strong af
"My physical nudity is the manifestation of the freedom & openess of my mind" @FaithEikos
When you blow your nose & look at what you have done
I saw a guy with a sign that says “I only want one thing shoved down my throat and it is NOT the bible!”
I fucking love RVA
Prince fought real hard to stay off of Spotify, ITunes..etc. He gotta be rollin hard af underground
Whatcha say @sonofabass
Twerked on/with an angel, thy name is @shaaanspicer
Uber Driver: I just dropped two girls off a couple blocks...
Me: *interrupts* was a cup involved?
Call me crazy, but either the falcons or patriots are winning this one tonight. If not one, then the other.
Whenever i need inspiration i just think about Kmart still being here in 2017.
Slow drivers can go to heck and kiss my buttocks
Don't chase people. Be you and attract the right ones for your life.
You'll love dating me if you love people who use Tupperware lids as plates.
The thing I like best about kids is that I don't have any.
Man buns are still a thing & taking over a city near you.
People who most definitely said hi to me while in RVA include @shaaanspicer
If you love winter please stay away from me and my family.
One time i saw a hat on the floor and i've always wondered if there was a guy underneath it buried up to his forehead.
This weather has cuffing season in utter chaos. My penis is so confused by the fact that it's 60 degrees out.
I read this post on how to poo properly and it was the best thing I've read all day. So informative!
My tweet game has been weak af
Jeb Bush looks like he eats the end pieces of a loaf of bread.
Facebook profiles of the Paris Nat'l flag didn't last long.
Watching white girls twerk is hilarious
Life is too awesome to worry about those that don't like you or your persona.
Where can I go to find opinions about refugees?
Last question, do any of you candidates have dogs and can we pet them.
This new Bieber album is pure unadulterated flames. If you're of the opposite sex and we've spoken, you will get a text with lyrics tonight.