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Barth's Burgery
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These are actually your fathers burgers. Sorry kids.
Good Burger on Netflix? Never heard of it.
Slimed. Deserved. Bad Burgers. A I heard that.
Praying in a church to end religious wars is like sitting in your car complaining about the traffic jam you're in. You are the traffic jam.
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Sometimes I get the feeling that my life is exactly like The Truman Show. If it is, I wanna say sorry about all the jacking off to the fans.
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I use 70% prime beef.
Uh hh, I heard that.
test drive the all-new, 2015 adderall suppositories today
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"Maybe Phil Robertson is right" - Person who watched Melissa Etheridge's performance tonight
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The best part of music in 2013 was Adele's James Bond theme, "Let the Skyfall".
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"I'm ballin" = I buy unnecessary things to impress others, but it will take me 5 more years to pay off this car.
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Gonna call things by their proper names in '14. Instead of pop I'll call it soda. Instead of teenage boy orgy store I'll call it Abercrombie
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“The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team.” ~Phil Jackson
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Where we find hate and darkness, may we bring love and hope, in order to give a more human face to society.
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“Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.” ~Dale Carnegie
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.@BedBathBeyond Why your stores refuse to carry my amazing Shower Chili Bags is bed, bath, and beyond me.
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The thing I miss most about college is all the block parties. Just sitting around with friends and playing with Legos for hours.
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Hey, I heard that. RT @LenciMae: Why did I eat that burger!!!!!!!! I feel terrible!! :(
Uh, I heard that. RT @KriisSaysStuff: That was a terrible burger.... :/
Duh, I heard that. RT @FieldsMax: Burger bar does terrible things
I heard that! RT @datinggimikera: Terrible customer service here at #mapleeastwing , burger tastes like jollibee champ triple the price
Try a burger. Made em fresh uh today.
I stare into the bathroom mirror and scream, "Bloody Mary!" 3 times, & yet my wife doesn't hear me, so I have to go make my own.
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Better company than burgers. Just throw up over the railing. Pretty simple.
*tell hilarious Mark McGrath joke* *realize I'm in a dangerous "Sugar Ray" bar* *get my ass kicked by 20 guys named Dillon*
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PGA, I got Rory. I hope Tiger wins it though. #PGA
RT @MoMohler: I wrote a blog about things that aren't necessary in life and the pure irony made my computer explode.
Birds don't have to buy tickets to baseball games. Fucking bull-shit.
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I've never been in a basement. Spiders?
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I think Kim Kardashian and I would get along great considering I'm an Aquarius and she's a whore.
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#funny #comedy #ff RT @MoMohler: Roe Vs Wade was one of the most important, ah who's kidding, I don't know anything about the UFC.
Stevie Nicks, first meteorologist/sports anchor.... "Thunder only happens when it's raining...players only love you when they're playing."
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Does "but it was for a Klondike Bar" stand in up in court?
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