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im confused are there actually people out there who believe that global warming doesn't exist, but a god does
if i put half as much effort into exercising as i do into avoiding it, i would have the body of a god
taylor swift is a bitch for not releasing her album to spotify
why are TAs so braggy about having children
my head is just so cold!!!
i've read more in bathroom stalls than in textbooks this semester
All the right vibes in the HUT today, why not give away a free SANDY?! RT and favorite this tweet and you might just get passed a blunt!
Retweeted by michael
in the interest of full disclosure, i got a pumpkin spice latte today. it was pretty good.
box: "40% reduced fat!" me: "that probably tastes like shit where the fuck is the regular"
"toasters are for rich people"
"i know cancer is an issue, but is some research on a pill to cure hangovers too much to ask for?"
because im all about that fleisch, bout that fleisch, no svedka
"i was buzzin so hard off that one beer that i couldnt read"
you have two types of friends, trees and snowflakes
just tweeting for the sake of tweeting
"grab the hot pockets"
im not lazy, im efficient
There's just something about Wisconsin. Tonight was legendairy!!
Retweeted by michael
the @Timeflies concert in madison was amazing! praying they come back and stay longer next time!
casual pic with @whatupcal after the best concert ever! can't wait to see him again!
my bedroom is so messy it has reached obstacle course status
this three hour long-distance coaching phone call though
Retweeted by michael
my only aspiration in life is to have my adult home resemble the decor of the shark tank boardroom
clash of civs bubble round debate for the second tournament in a row #blessed
my favorite thing about being friends with my high school teachers on facebook is when they discuss gubernatorial politics with each other
"you just sound like you're accusing me of being perverted" "you ask me to 69 on a daily basis..."
you know i only smoke dorals...
did you know that only macs go to heaven?
idk about you, but im on team dab
everything that is important in my life now contains at least one beer stain
surprise roommate's moms visits are a great recipe for an awkward situation.
update: locked out of the apartment, stevn has no pants.
eyo im going over to mike and steve's
dont ever get in a bus
There is going to be a lot of ratchet events taking place this weekend. Prepare yourselves.
Retweeted by michael
just chased vodka with milk #desperation
came home to my roommate making chocolate sauce #blessed #livelaughlove
i might evaluate the possibility of there being a god if apple could find a way to charge macs and iphones with the same charger
excuse me, could you put on a new elbow please?
"you can't have simply and arugula in the same sentence"
wearing cargo shorts necessitates judgment
@AtypicalDouche Well, according to browser statistics, 24.7% users use Firefox world wide. :) Hope that answered your question :) #fxhelp
Retweeted by michael
ummm who even uses firefox