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michael

the game has fucking changed
you wish you were me 🍕
sorry, we don't serve ally cookies here @thecuriousbabe @murrrrdith
group assignments from prof
if a uw student athlete takes off their uw student athlete jacket are they still a uw student athlete?
school ➡️ work ➡️ drink (x17) ➡️ sleep ➡️ repeat
elegance is simplicity 🍸
even though collin posted it first, i deserve the credit 📸: @mia_inc
the only snap story i watch consistently is the food network one
sorry, i couldn't tell if your teeth are stained or if you have adult braces ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
homemade mushroom ravioli with a mushroom and truffle sauce and freshly grated parmesan cheese 👌🏻
*comes back to appleton solely for the water*
last shift with my main 🌊
me turning in econ homework obvi copied from online solutions
fond memories of 2015: the gays got marriage scotty w. was out crazied by trump to his demise (i was too drunk to remember the rest)
amazon gift cards are the new cash
my mom said she would make me dinner, but then she got wine drunk instead #ohlinda
no one warned me that one day i would wake up and be tired for the rest of my life
update: dignity and water bottle still missing
if im going to die young and tragically, i'd like that time to be now please
to my prof who released all his class notes in comic sans: this is a university, not a fucking elementary school
tfw you realize you have a final in 48 hours you haven't even thought about studying for
parents: give me a list of ideas for xmas me: okay, while you eliminate all thoughtfulness, gimme a list too parents: 🖕🏻
when your prof cites himself in your lecture notes and you start looking for your gun
no i didn't pre-order a series of gifts for myself so that they would come (gift wrapped) throughout finals week. that'd be ridiculous
me in the weight room at the serf
is a bangable uber drive too much to ask for
bottomless mimosa brunch with the bae 🍾
if lark isn't your go-to insta filter, you are mistaken
been at brunch at my aunt and uncle's house for over an hour and still have been offered zero alcohol #totowearentinwiscoanymore
me: thank you to my family and friends for putting up with me my body: *coughs obnoxiously looking for attention*
i've been rehearsing for this day all year
nothing tastes better than free 💸 #CAKEGrandOpening
hypothesis test: null hypo: i study for midterm hypo: i watch videos of people scaring their cats w/ cucumbers result: null hypo rejected
i love the edgewater, i love the cheesecake factory, and most importantly, i love mango lime cheesecake 🍰
cracks on an iphone are like waking up drunk with a tattoo you didn't want
priorities: knowing which things won't ruin your life until at least tomorrow, when i still won't deal with them.
is anyone surprised that the two GOP frontrunners are also the people that have zero experience in politics......
if it were possible to be drunk on perkins, i would be blackout rn
*performs seppuku walking out of midterm*
*takes melatonin supplements to go to bed at 4:30am* scoreboard: college: 97 me: 0
sweater weather in the biergarten 👌🏻
when you look dumb af trying to get the new snapchat faces to work in the library: a memoir by michael
class at univ of iowa: shucking corn 101 harvest season 152 what to eat during winter 202
 




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