STUDY: 95% of all hoverboard accidents involve riders checking their Apple Watches outside vape stores.
I'm now 10/10 on gauging whether ppl's "I'm pregnant" means 'console me' or 'congratulate me'. This is adulthood. I needed to tell someone.
It's been a minute since I've been on the gram. So a gratuitous #selfie
is necessary. Just… instagram.com/p/BAXa8PeKnS6/
It's been a minute since I've been on the gram. So a gratuitous #selfie is "necessary". Just because you're not announcing your every move, doesn't mean it's not happening. 😉 #namaste #latergram
Early Warnings: How American Journalists Reported the Rise of Hitler theatlantic.com/national/archi…
Dear people who think I'm flirting when I'm just being courteous, you're the reason we can't have anything nice.
I'm attempting to talk myself into an #iPad
pro. I know it's a poor decision, yet here I am.
When he says poems and chill and he actually means poems and chill
Unrelated: I can't go to a game where I'm more than 5-6 rows from the field. My attention span just won't let me do it.
Invite me to your "#wraps
" party one more time & watch what happens. Go ahead, do it.
I'm such a tweet bomb dropper. *Tweets once, deleted app, gives up technology for 6 to 8 months.*
I have no idea what are you talking about?
People who show you pictures of their dogs like they're kids are pretty much the best that the universe has to offer. ❤️
Back for the first time. | #latergram #BCBG #MaxAzria #HappyFriday
"I'm only buying one box so you all best agree on something or we leave the store right now and no one gets anything"
Share to help ensure the plight of #humantrafficking
victims does not go unnoticed endHT.org #igivehope
Children For Sale: The Fight to End Human Trafficking. A CNN Special Report.
Story of my life😩.
Unrelated: Still looking to adopt a grandma. Must be 90+ & live in a rent controlled apt in NYC.twitter.com/kayevalley/sta…
Facebook: Come for the misinformation, stay for the outrage!
is so heartbreaking; it really puts a human face on the U.S gun violence problem. Mandatory viewing.
I hate myself for laughing but... twitter.com/poopscruffin4u…
Hate crimes. In 2015. Racism. In 2015. And don't call it a mental illness or we will still be here in 2025. #CharlestonShooting
Which one of these men is being arrested for a mass murder? #CharlestonShooting #WhitePrivilege
Losing faith in doing the right thing. *
I honestly can no longer remember what I was thinking with spiders.
Don't let Twitter have you acting all Hollywood on people. It's not that deep 😒.
I can confirm that 97% of #NY
bosses are in #TheHamptons
right now -- & have been drunk since 9am. Why did you even go into work?
Introduction to Choices and Consequences in the Internet Age #RejectedUniversityClasses
Off-duty Army Captain credited with saving NC couple from fiery crash link.myfox8.com/1IGVs9X #SteveVoglezon
I'm not a good enough Christian (yet) to overlook the improper use of the "you" form; something about it peeves me out to no end. 😐
After 6 months of waiting, family of Tamir Rice makes traumatic decision to have him cremated
My packing job looks something like what 6 year old running away from home would have in their backpack. #struggle
So many devastating anecdotes in @SarahMaslinNir
's off-the-charts superb story on nail salon workers in the Times.
If you can't be courteous to someone attending to you / you act like they're beneath you, there's a negative 300% of us doing business. Bye.
Never, everrrr trust people who are rude to service attendants. #TheMoreYouKnow
Whenever you're caught doing something really embarrassing, "it's for science" is ALWAYS a legitimate explanation. #Trust
me on this one.
Gotta stop wearing boat shoes through life. Nah, who am I kidding? Besides, it's March. That's kind of Spring-y...if you ignore all the snow
I really love New Yorkers, they just "get" me; that & the fact that they have zero qualms about taking/dishing out the sass.
"Was that about me?"
"Yes. Incidentally, this is the only meeting that I'm attending at this very second".
On a scale of one through I called this meeting so I can hear myself talk, what are the chances that we're getting out of here by noon?
I swear...he better live to be, like, 80 in human years for how much trouble he's caused.
Just spent a solid 3 hours taking down a piece of my garage wall to rescue a bird that was trapped inside. Happy Monday!🎈
social interactions are my fave.
Thanks a lot.
Note to self: Get new friends.
I have the kind of friends who when I'm trying to sneak out after dinner to avoid someone, they tell the waitress it's my birthday & sing.
I'm convinced that 90% of people who love to cite the unconstitutionality of something, have never read it. 😒