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Don't let Twitter have you acting all Hollywood on people. It's not that deep 😒.
I can confirm that 97% of #NY bosses are in #TheHamptons right now -- & have been drunk since 9am. Why did you even go into work?
Introduction to Choices and Consequences in the Internet Age #RejectedUniversityClasses
Retweeted by AstoldbyÈva
Off-duty Army Captain credited with saving NC couple from fiery crash #SteveVoglezon
I'm not a good enough Christian (yet) to overlook the improper use of the "you" form; something about it peeves me out to no end. 😐
After 6 months of waiting, family of Tamir Rice makes traumatic decision to have him cremated…
Retweeted by AstoldbyÈva
My packing job looks something like what 6 year old running away from home would have in their backpack. #struggle
So many devastating anecdotes in @SarahMaslinNir's off-the-charts superb story on nail salon workers in the Times.
Retweeted by AstoldbyÈva
If you can't be courteous to someone attending to you / you act like they're beneath you, there's a negative 300% of us doing business. Bye.
Never, everrrr trust people who are rude to service attendants. #TheMoreYouKnow
Whenever you're caught doing something really embarrassing, "it's for science" is ALWAYS a legitimate explanation. #Trust me on this one.
Gotta stop wearing boat shoes through life. Nah, who am I kidding? Besides, it's March. That's kind of Spring-y...if you ignore all the snow
I really love New Yorkers, they just "get" me; that & the fact that they have zero qualms about taking/dishing out the sass.
"Was that about me?" "Yes. Incidentally, this is the only meeting that I'm attending at this very second".
On a scale of one through I called this meeting so I can hear myself talk, what are the chances that we're getting out of here by noon?
I swear...he better live to be, like, 80 in human years for how much trouble he's caused.
Just spent a solid 3 hours taking down a piece of my garage wall to rescue a bird that was trapped inside. Happy Monday!🎈
#Awkward social interactions are my fave. Pleasedontcomeoverherepleasedontcomeoverhere *muttering silently*
Thanks a lot. Note to self: Get new friends.
I have the kind of friends who when I'm trying to sneak out after dinner to avoid someone, they tell the waitress it's my birthday & sing.
I'm convinced that 90% of people who love to cite the unconstitutionality of something, have never read it. 😒
I used to be so excited about I'm all "But I forgot my license" & my instructor's all "well, try & not get pulled over"😒😒.
@raesanni: Suge Knight had another panic attack. Who knew murder was so anxiety inducing?” << 😂😂
I hope that my friends love me enough to step in & hold an intervention if a Michael Kors bag ever happens to me.
I don't know how to handle a conversation where I know someone's lying anymore. Being a better #Christian is hard, y'all.
"@GSElevator: #1: The only color I judge people by is the color of their teeth." Basically.
I'm going to start replying to messages purely in Gifs of my facial expressions - which is unprofessional, yes, but so is your nonsense.
There's a special place in heaven for NYC bike messengers, they're the real unsung heroes.
I'm living proof that you can be too lazy to get fat; oftentimes when I think of food, I consider how far it is & decide it's not worth it.
Guy just tried to kick it to me with what I'm 95% sure were Drake lyrics; he had a #Chipotle bag though so I definitely considered it.
@kayevalley: @AstoldbyEva Lmao. You know me better than that!” <<< this right here.
@kayevalley: @AstoldbyEva You played yourself. Lol.” Was supposed to be the equivalent of girls "omg I'm so fat" re: fishing 4 reassurance.
I throw dryer sheets in my laundry with the frenzied generosity of a rapper in a strip club.
Retweeted by AstoldbyÈva
@kayevalley: @AstoldbyEva Very accurate.” But why d' y'all gotta play me like that 😔?
Consistency is everything.
...& when it's done, that's the end of it; no need to file it for the purpose of fueling a future disagreement.
WHO are these people that give "the silent treatment" as some sort of punishment. If I'm upset w/ you, you're gonna hear about it. #TRUST
Instead of posting my "happy #valentinesday" stuff all over your feed, here's a picture of me being #childish. You're welcome. & yes I went on the ride & it was fantastic. #noshameinmygame Also, no, my eyes aren't closed, I just look a little bit Asian when I smile for real. Wait, is that offensiv
You can't be my #valentine because you call them "rose pedals". #unforgivable
@MsJayeRenee: @AstoldbyEva and some are epic failures. Circa 2005 the pick up line was do you have Facebook.” < literally laughed out loud
Some guys have this whole 'asking a woman if she's available' bit all figured out.
*me unloading literally 2 bags out of my trunk* "so is your boyfriend going to help you with that" *me looking @ my 2 hands & the 2 bags*
Just spent a solid hour looking for the remote to my blinds. Would it have been easier to manually close them? Maybe...BUT IM NO #QUITTER!
Words of wisdom: "almost everyone will miss everything you do on social media.....until you make a mistake." @sree #sreecago @husnaghani
Retweeted by AstoldbyÈva