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Auntivirus: An app which automatically asks "beta shaadi kab kar rahe ho" at yhe end of every month.
Mom: Who took cash from my purse?
Dad: How would I know?
Maid: How would I know?
Me: mhare howwouldiknow mein naache mor tak thayya thayya
That moment when you are too shy to make eye contact with Bae.
End of an Era!
We will miss you Sanga. #ThankYouSanga
Fir se tatti kar di #ScoopPoop
"Kitni baar bola tujhe answer nahi pata toh beech me mat bola kar"😐😐yC5
Waiting for @ArvindKejriwal
to give review of movie Brothers.
Kabbaddi kaun kaun dekhta hain?
to our protectors.
and join the #SaluteSelfie
movement to show our support towards the Indian Army.
"I don't like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there." - #CharlesBukowski
i am feeling lucky would be renamed to 'I am feeling lauki'.
How does your student loan debt make you feel?
Tell us in 3 emojis or less.
then "i am feeling lucky" would be "tera kuch nahi ho sakta".
People go abroad. Use their brains. Do well. Great. Wonderful. Admirable. They did it for themselves. Why should India feel proud of them?
A pen with a spoon on the other end, because sometimes, you need to eat your words.
When I read some tweets and dont get what they are trying to say.
To our brave soldiers.
Tweet your picture with a salute to our brave Armed Forces with #SaluteSelfie
Ban on porn and maggi has removed. Weekend plan is sorted.
Humari dua kabool hui. Porn ban hat gaya bhaiyo.
The engineer inside you must be super happy. No?
is a step by govt to increase computer literacy .People would now learn the use of VPN, proxies, file sharing technologies etc
Sonia Gandhi on #PornBan
Its hard to trust a man who finds porn disgusting.
Acche din ka pata nahi par ab acchi raatein nahi rahi. #PornBan
Indian guys after they heard about #PornBan
10th: Beta padh lo, yahi time hai
12th: Beta padh lo, yahi time hai
Engg: Beta padh lo, yahi time hai
MBA: Beta padh lo, yahi time hai
v/s after #PornBan
Only an engineer can understand the value of porn. Kejriwal's protest on #PornBan
No one tagged me on Facebook, should I be worried or happy? #FriendshipDay
We admire people on Twitter because we've got the luxury of NOT knowing them.
Night speaks in a secret language, only to those who know how to love the dark.
4 life stages:
1) Not knowing what you want
2) Knowing what you want
3) Realize that you will never get it
4) Reconcile oneself to the fact
Dance like nobody is watching and text like nobody can threaten you with a screen shot.
Me: Bhai, main pass ho gaya.
F: Chal party de.
Me: Bhai, job mil gayi.
F: Chal party de.
Me: Bhai, ladki ne haa kar di.
F: Chal party de.
Hum daaru peete rahein, woh sambhalte rahein. - Sacche Dost. #HappyFriendshipDay
Choose your friends carefully, one day they will be your introduction. #ThoseFriendsWho
This will remind you of your Childhood Friends. #HappyFriendshipDay
Woh copy karte rahein, hum tweet karte rahein: Twelebs
I clicked a photo of the staircase, yeh ab tak ki meri sabse seedhi photo hain.
F1: Oye, coconut water piyega?
F2: Nahi, mujhe nahi pasand.
F2: Because, they are na-real.
Our Tribute to Dr. A P J Abdul Kalam!
#WingsOfFire #?????????? #????????????
When you realise you're having a bad day since 20+ years.
How to properly introduce the Bae to the family
Walked into a tree while looking at phone. We plant trees, water them and this is what they're doing to us.
Everytime people at work asks "Tu kuch lega?" when they're going out to get something to eat, I want to shout "CHHUTTI. CHHUTTI LUNGA!"
Humpty Sharma on Doordarshan. #ThankMeLater
Beta, chinta kaahe karte ho, Baahubali 2 bhi aane wali hain.