Sometimes I wear Minnie ears and light my best friend's birthday cake
I've listened to this 80 times today
People who let their hands freeze outside their pockets so they can hold someone else's hand have no self respect.
Condo and tickets purchased for @Hangoutfest
I guess we outchea @whitneyblaine
For Christmas I'm getting my parents a card that says "my presence is a present kiss my ass"
Is there some kind of support group for people who talk too loud on the phone? Asking for myself because my voice is loud AF.
S/O to the garbage human that stole the side mirrors off my BMW.
My grandparents have been married 65 years and I can't even get a text back.
My niece is wearing my baby ballet tutu and I'm dead.
Wish I remembered my plastic surgeon's name so I could @ him 👃�Bb
Frank, I made the mistake of flying to LA last summer and you cancelled. I'm about to fly across the country this time, DO NOT PLAY ME.
I drop $800 bucks on fest tickets for 3 people and Chase instantly thinks I'm ballin. YES IM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WI… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…
Hangout Fest? Is it worth the trip?Bueller?
The Shallows is unrealistic as fuck....but the most unrealistic part is where they claim Galveston Texas has blue water LMFAOOOOO
Today has been hilariously garbage but I seriously have the best pals a bitch could ask for.......shit.
I still can't with my ex texting me about getting a puppy. Congrats! I got a new car a new job and most importantly RID👏🏼OF👏🏼YOU👏🏼
I convinced some pals to fly to LA for my birthday and it's going to be v lit, thank you.
Do men have an internal clock that says "oh she been happy for about a year let me come around and bother her again" damn y'all piss me off
100% chance I will be 75 and still crying every time I hear Blood Bank
Just got up from my seat to let an elderly couple have it because the men in California are so garbage.
Will someone take my money and invest it out of the goodness of their heart and not take a percentage of it. Thx.
Fell into a guys arms on the train today when it took off and yelled "FUCK A DUCK" just like they do in romantic comedies.....🙄🙄🙄
Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by winter 🙋🏽
Number of times I've listened to Bailando today: idk I lost count a long time ago
I use up all my magic in the summer so I'm forced to be garbage in the winter. Is it over yet?
*boy texts me* *i respond* *crickets* LEAVE ME ALONE THEN......SHIT
Said yes ma'am to a lady today and she asked if I was in the army....no girl I'm from the south.
"Talking" to boys is the equivalent of trying to pet a deer. One wrong move and they bounce.
Jeb Bush is officially a faculty member at my alma mater. Anyone in the market for a framed diploma or class ring?
I was just accepted to be a tutor for refugees in San Francisco! I'm so happy I could cry.
Bitchin is a good adjective.....I'm going to bring it back.
Are Air Max 90s still cool? Asking for myself because I want to exclusively wear sneakers every day of my life. Thx
If you're at the point in your relationship where you CANNOT keep your hands off each other plz quarantine yourselves.
I'm one of the least shy people I know but when it comes to public speaking I turn bright red and want to die.
Enrique Iglesias can still get it.
I'm just a girl....standing in front of a boy.....asking him not to be a fuccboi.
I need more travel buddies 😭😭😭 I don't want to stay here.
My brain and my will to live caught an early flight to Cabo.
Thought Catalog SERIOUSLY stresses me the fuck out. Unfollow.
Winter drains all the good out of the world. What am I supposed to do until the sun comes back?
California is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
"To all the little girls watching...never doubt that you are valuable and powerful & deserving of every chance & opportunity in the world."
How do you honestly look your daughter in the face after you vote for Trump?
This is our darkest hour.
Any marketing team that is sending out promotional emails right now should be fired.
Nothing good happens in the winter.
Conservative parents make outspoken liberal daughters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is my first time voting for president because I never got my absentee ballot when I lived in Italy. BLESS UP.