It's everyone's favorite part of the year where I tweet about soccer!
SOS my "friends" have never heard Daddy's Home by Usher. WHO R U
Santa Cruz and rosé over everything
Should also consider no longer referring to myself in 3rd person as "babygirl"
STILL need to stop driving in the carpool lane with the top down....
Just shared my screen with "Daddy's Home" prominently displayed on Spotify.....
It does not require any kind of additional brain power to spell someone's name correctly in an email.
Would pay lots of money for someone to come rescue me from SFO
Is it time to be at the beach yet?
I hate myself.....
My aesthetic is "my dad just won it all and I'm SLEEP"
DRAYMOND'S SLEEPING BEBE I CANNOT......
Kevin Love with his Frodo Baggins lookin ass....get the fuck outta here.
Someone asked if I was from the South based on how I'm screaming at the game 😭😭😭
The steph curry belly patty-cake I can't.....
Yelling at the TV makes me feel alive.
KD needs a ring like Carmelo.....damn.
The strategy for this whole "dating" thing is to find someone you can tolerate before your heart hardens and love is dead.
This is asinine
When will my voice be heard? I have suggested "is there any more room for me in those genes?" as our tagline multiple times.
Why are men so useless when it comes to booking travel? Why don't y'all know how to use a phone...or your brain for that matter? 🤔
Except KD's gross goatee that needs to go. Shoulda left that shit in Oklahoma with the rest of the trash.
Everything is better in the golden state y'all. 💛💙💛💙💛💙
Today is Prince's birthday and I know he'd want that Warriors W.
A man just drove by...cat calling me with a "jesus is my higher power" decal on his car. In the words of lil Wayne...he can't save you
Further proof that Jay Z is cancelled
SOS the one other single guy in our office found out I like hip-hop and won't leave me alone. SLACK IS NOT TINDER.
THIS MAN STILL OUT HERE CANCELLING SHOWS WHILST GALAVANTING ABOUT TOWN WITH KENDALL JENNER. why does she ruin everything she touches? twitter.com/pitchfork/stat…
Last call is potentially moving to 4am in California which would be exciting if I was a youth but this might actually be my cause of death.
*me as a mom* kids: "mom what's the pyramid and why is she working there" me: "shhhhh wait for the bass drop it's the best part"
Why doesn't anyone accept Usher's Daddy's Home as the musical masterpiece that it is?
Who is @lilyachty
's dentist tho?
Also where in the hell can I stream The Bodyguard? The interwebs got me fucked up today.
I would like a Milk Bar cornflake cookie and a dipped cone delivered to my lair. Thank you.
Tom Petty from the VIP is such a blessing and gift from God.
I'm the type of drunk where I'm just annoyed with every male ever. Like....WHY JESUS GOTTA INCONVENIENCE MARY LIKE THAT?!
Jesus, I never thought it would be this hard to find someone to go to a festival with me for free.
Can someone show up in SF tomorrow to be my +1 at bottlerock? Thx
Just came across a high school graduation. Why do these children look older than me? Why am I so short? I had no idea until now.
I'm a pretty driven individual but don't think for a second I wouldn't quit my job to walk dogs if I found someone to support my lifestyle.
A) I do not fuck with anyone that does not know/love this song B) is there an "extras anonymous" hotline?
When everybody got bae but you've got @budlight
I've been listening to JukeJam getting ALL the way into my feels.
Wow....my friend Vic at the bodega trine tell me they ain't got zebra cakes during this vulnerable time in my life. I feel very blindsided.
Tried to add up all the money I spent on alcohol this weekend but decided I did not need that kind of negativity in my life.
Y'all....my director made a slack channel for random thoughts and His comments got me ded. 💀9
I really hate when I have layovers in love field because I eat so much I almost die.
REALLY hate being that jackass that RUNS through the airport