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Publically shaming myself because this is the first year I filed my taxes instead of my parents
Can we leave the word "wanderlust" with all the other trash we left in 2016?
Sexist shit my movers have said to me: "so what do you do besides look good?"
Do you ever look back to the past and think "did I lose my mind?" That's how I feel about sequin accessories, trucker hats, and my ex.
Not here to play......
I have LEGITIMATELY lost track of how many times I've listened to this and it hasn't even been out for 24 hours. ¯\…
I forgot how much I love this account. I'm crying.…
I'm leaving for Vegas in 8 hours. Hurricane Ashley comin in HOT.
I want to build something that requires power tools so I either need to go to Home Depot, find a surrogate boyfriend, or call my dad. 😬
A message from your neighborhood single white female addicted to retail.
I want some golden retriever kisses.
What's the sexuality that hates everything? I want to be that.
Does anyone else find it wildly awkward to send someone an email when they sit within 30 feet of you? 🤔
Finding a job in SF is easy but an apartment.....EL OH ELLE
This Bay Area girl is in desperate need of some boudain. No one knows what that is and my heart is broken.
I really have tried to be quiet. But if one more woman wants to post about "I don't support the women's march" they……
Anyone want to join my club "Normal people against goopy babies on Facebook"?
My mother is providing live coverage of her time in DC for the inauguration and I'm about to report all her photos.
Spotify needs a plug in that will tell me how much I have in common with other users. Like what's our compatibility percentage 🤔
Why are men so doggone cute and utterly horrible at the same time?
Well guys, it finally happened, after a year of bliss my ex has finally changed the password to his Netflix account. *moment of silence*
I'm still somewhat garbage but I have become an infinitely better version of myself since moving to California. 😭
This is who I am....
Roughly 24 hours into 2017 and I already feel restless.
Very Good Girls is a very dramatic movie.
I've been in austin since Friday and have been sober MAYBE 1 hour and have not seen a single vegetable
My type is apparently guys that have heard (and love) Childish's Rolling in the Deep remix ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm going home to Austin tomorrow and I want to cry scream.
Sometimes I wear Minnie ears and light my best friend's birthday cake ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I've listened to this 80 times today
People who let their hands freeze outside their pockets so they can hold someone else's hand have no self respect.
Condo and tickets purchased for @Hangoutfest I guess we outchea @whitneyblaine 🍾🍾🍾🍾
For Christmas I'm getting my parents a card that says "my presence is a present kiss my ass"
Is there some kind of support group for people who talk too loud on the phone? Asking for myself because my voice is loud AF.
S/O to the garbage human that stole the side mirrors off my BMW.
My grandparents have been married 65 years and I can't even get a text back.
My niece is wearing my baby ballet tutu and I'm dead.
Wish I remembered my plastic surgeon's name so I could @ him 👃�Bb
Frank, I made the mistake of flying to LA last summer and you cancelled. I'm about to fly across the country this time, DO NOT PLAY ME.
I drop $800 bucks on fest tickets for 3 people and Chase instantly thinks I'm ballin. YES IM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WI……
Hangout Fest? Is it worth the trip?Bueller?
The Shallows is unrealistic as fuck....but the most unrealistic part is where they claim Galveston Texas has blue water LMFAOOOOO
Today has been hilariously garbage but I seriously have the best pals a bitch could ask for.......shit.
I still can't with my ex texting me about getting a puppy. Congrats! I got a new car a new job and most importantly RID👏🏼OF👏🏼YOU👏🏼
I convinced some pals to fly to LA for my birthday and it's going to be v lit, thank you.
Do men have an internal clock that says "oh she been happy for about a year let me come around and bother her again" damn y'all piss me off
100% chance I will be 75 and still crying every time I hear Blood Bank
Just got up from my seat to let an elderly couple have it because the men in California are so garbage.
Will someone take my money and invest it out of the goodness of their heart and not take a percentage of it. Thx.
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