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Friend don't let friends text drunk; hilarious text fails!
bit.ly/181jzxn If you have three apples and Jamal takes two... what color is Jamal?
I got 99 problems and I'm seeing a therapist about them.
fuck fuck
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Guess what i saw today?
Everything i looked at.
Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph and the blood of a virgin.
Have you ever noticed these hidden
#Disney characters in other Disney movies? Check out # 3!
bit.ly/17HwxjV How to lose weight:
Turn your head to the left, and then turn it to the right.
Repeat this exercise whenever offered food.
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike?
Someone threw a washing machine at him.
What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you.
I put the 'sexy' in dyslexia.
I hope your prom pics didn't look like this.
bit.ly/17r0yUP Here's a bit of advice: advi
Every father's worst fear is that his little girl will one day take a senior picture like this
bit.ly/115Meyu -ad
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
Ouch! The only thing worse than a painful tattoo, is a painfully mis-spelled tattoo! #10 is just hilarious.
bit.ly/17V71Yo - sp
What did batman say to robin before he got in the car?
Get in the car.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts? Bob Marley doesn't eat donuts, he died in 1981.
I hate school, it's so stressful and you have to wear pants.
Friend don't let friends text drunk; hilarious text fails!
bit.ly/17juxxT What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them.
Breaking up via text is the worst. You have to see these breakup texts. #1 is so bad!
bit.ly/17n0xRO What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.
You know it's cloudy outside when you look outside and there are a lot of clouds.
I hope your prom pics didn't look like this.
bit.ly/17r0yUP You remind me of my Chinese friend... Ug Lee.
If i had a dollar for every time someone told me i was pretty i would have exactly one dollar thanks mom
Why do girls associate their selfies with a deep yet irrelevant quote I do not understand the correlation.
Have you ever noticed these hidden
#Disney characters in other Disney movies? Check out # 3!
bit.ly/17HwxjV I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig.... Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep.
When I turn 18 and my parents try to get me to do something I'll just be like "Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf."
My mom said words can't hurt you so I hit her in the head with a dictionary
Friend don't let friends text drunk; hilarious text fails!
bit.ly/17juxxT I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing here?" I'm like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."
walk into school like whaddup i wanna die
I can't believe these are real wedding photos!
bit.ly/177s9u4 is “no” an emotion because i feel it
*Kim Kardashian gives birth*
*Kanye Interrupts* "Yo Kim I'm happy for you and I'ma let you finish but Beyoncé had the best baby of all time
Did you ever wonder what's the worst breakup text ever typed? Check out these to see the top 15!
bit.ly/13cxvNX i have so much homework
what movie should i watch
Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.
Check out 10 funny siri responses! We think #3 is hilarious!
bit.ly/13cxlWX If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None because Johnny got hit by a bus.
Things I suck at:
1. Being attractive.
2. Being normal.
3. Relationships.
4. Texting back.
5. Math.
6. Life.
Why did the little boy's ice cream melt? He was on fire.