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How's #TeamKing doing today? Any question let me or the team know. #WakeUpNow
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How did the black athlete win the race? He was faster.
Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the fence open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.
Whats worse than finding a bug in your salad? Getting anally raped by a Rhinoceros.
I got 99 problems and I'm seeing a therapist about them.
Yo momma's so fat, that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a slightly larger volume of water than people with less body mass do.
What do you call a pig that can do karate? An unlikely scenario.
If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.
What's the friendliest vegetable on Earth? The sweet potato.
If Dave has 50 chocolate bars and eats 45, what does he have left? Diabetes. Dave has diabetes.
Y G O L O H C Y S P. Reverse psychology.
You know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.
What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.
I don't always have time to study... but when I do, I don't