Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Anti Joke Jamal
twitter comedy social media 178,765 followers
fun drinking game: take a shot of water every couple hours to make sure you’re healthy and hydrated
Jay-Z has a song for his daughter called glory. Glory spelled backwards is yrolg which means absolutely nothing, but I had you for a second.
Why did Joey fall of the swing? Because he was shot by a clown.
nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
texting someone who doesn't use emoticons is like being locked in a room alone with kristen stewart
Better than Instagram and Pinterest.. Sign up!! antijokejamal.com/r/2jUSm
I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka
me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friends
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
Are you a magician because abracadayum.
sometimes when I say “Im okay” what I rly want is for someone to hold my hand look me in the eyes and say “I know ur not okay here is $1000"
Once upon a time there was a boy standing up. Then he sat down.
*gets pulled over* cop: have u been drinking tonight me: ive been drankin I've been drankin watermelonnn cop: surfbort
nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
"you’re going to have that tattoo for the rest of ur life” woah really are u serious wow i i had no idea thank u so much bless your soul
How I flirt: *Stares from a distance*
Trying to figure out someone else's shower pic.twitter.com/W0Guk9yN8o
if the purge was real i'd probably hide in aeropostale because no one has been in there since like 2009