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Anti Joke Jamal
My anaconda don't want none of this academic pressure
AP= advanced procrastinators
fun drinking game: take a shot of water every couple hours to make sure you’re healthy and hydrated
Jay-Z has a song for his daughter called glory. Glory spelled backwards is yrolg which means absolutely nothing, but I had you for a second.
Why did Joey fall of the swing? Because he was shot by a clown.
nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
texting someone who doesn't use emoticons is like being locked in a room alone with kristen stewart
Better than Instagram and Pinterest.. Sign up!! antijokejamal.com/r/2jUSm
I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka
me: better check my phone for texts from friends me: *checks phone* me: better get some friends
Beauty comes in all shapes & sizes. Small, large, circle, square, thin crust, thick crust, stuffed crust, extra toppings.
Are you a magician because abracadayum.
sometimes when I say “Im okay” what I rly want is for someone to hold my hand look me in the eyes and say “I know ur not okay here is $1000"
Once upon a time there was a boy standing up. Then he sat down.
*gets pulled over* cop: have u been drinking tonight me: ive been drankin I've been drankin watermelonnn cop: surfbort
nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
"you’re going to have that tattoo for the rest of ur life” woah really are u serious wow i i had no idea thank u so much bless your soul
How I flirt: *Stares from a distance*
Trying to figure out someone else's shower pic.twitter.com/W0Guk9yN8o
if the purge was real i'd probably hide in aeropostale because no one has been in there since like 2009
to all the clothes I left at people's houses.... miss u
simon says like me back
fun drinking game: take a shot of water every couple hours to make sure you’re healthy and hydrated
if your name is on one of these i just wanna let you know your parents are basic. & have no creativity. pic.twitter.com/0FkI1yE3YG
Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.
i may be ugly and annoying but at least i don’t have a selfie of me as my phones background
I was really disappointed when I turned 16 and my grandmother didn’t tell me I was the crown princess of Genovia
Ouch! The only thing worse than a painful tattoo, is a painfully mis-spelled tattoo! #10 is just hilarious. antijokejamal.com/tattoo-spellin…
i’m tasteless but so is water and we all need that
Why did Kyle get shampoo in his eyes? He didn't. Kyle died in a motocross accident 7 years ago.
What's saucy and hot? Hot sauce.
A dog walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out, as animals are not allowed.
why get thinner when you can get more dinner
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
my hobbies: browsing online shops and crying because I want everything I can't afford
What does an rat and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the rat.
Why did the farmer milk the cow? For milk.
hate when i lose something and my parents says "well i guess u didnt care about it enough" like youve lost me in a grocery store before so
"you support gay rights so u must be gay" i support animal rights do i look like a fucking alpaca to you
A man walks into a bar. Except it was a metal bar, like a pole. So he got hurt.