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Andrew Dize
An old lady just cut in front of me at Auntie Anne's and said that her pretzels weren't the right color 😂
Halfway through season 9 of The Office and what the heck is this crap they're trying to pull on Jim and Pam 😒
Instead of celebrating April Fools, the French celebrate April Fish where they sneak up behind people and tape paper fish to their backs.
Retweeted by Andrew Dize
If you ever feel depressed or lonely, remember that Topenga was the most annoying character at the beginning of Boy Meets World
If UMES is closed, then SU should be closed
I swear if I get a ticket today..
They forgot to put my chips in the bag at chipotle 😩😭
I am appalled that they would hire a sex offender to play the Phantom on Broadway. Absolutely unbelievable
Why award shows are so stupid, summarized in one perfect joke... pic.twitter.com/azWlvrjcYF
Retweeted by Andrew Dize
The high and low today were 7 and 45
Omgliterallydead is the best Instagram account 😂pic.twitter.com/oxraP5u14VV
The amount of yelling done in this house for communication pisses me off
When you try to impress someone with your looks vine.co/v/OD765K7Mvl2
Uh so tell me why @laynabethh 's brother takes snapchats of me
I had a pretty good vine game when it first came out 😏
I think that game took years off my life
Retweeted by Andrew Dize
Finally have the lead 🙌
Possibly the coolest thing ever
Who's the baby now 😏
Pass interference needs to be taught to all nfl refs because it's getting pretty ridiculous
Joe Flacco doesn't have very good acting skills. He should stick to throwing footballs
On the bright side of life, whichever team wins this game will be who I want to win the super bowl
Brady now has the most postseason passing yards in @nfl history.
Retweeted by Andrew Dize
Pretty play right there
I'm pretty sure you'd be pissed if someone kneed you out of spite
That's bull💩
Nothing makes you feel worthless like being a Pats fan on days like today 😩😓😅
ALMOST time Patriot nation, can you feel it! Whoot Whoot! Go #Patriots #NFL pic.twitter.com/6LilhCdZYN
Retweeted by Andrew Dize
👶: d.. 👨: marcy he's about to say his 1st word 👩: !! 👶: d.. 👨: dad.just say dad 👶: d.. 👨: SAY IT 👶: dennys 👨: 💔 👩: 1 day he'll recognize u 😔
Retweeted by Andrew Dize
What kind of coffee shop puts a lock on their wifi 😩
The videos of Gaston at Disney World 😂
Life would be much cooler if Liam Neeson narrated everything
The CES snapchat story just made my night a little better
.@jimmyfallon She may not have been impressed but we know the way to a girl's heart is "Want to play Super Mario Bros?"
Retweeted by Andrew Dize