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Andrew Marlan
August is the Sunday of summer.
Please tell me more about your exes during our date that you asked me on. πŸ˜’
"I wouldn't care if my girlfriend was a cyclops with a beard - I'd just be grateful to have someone to make out with." -Looking For Alaska
Pick up the nearest book to you and turn to page 45. The first sentence explains your love life.
I'm running out of things to watch on Netflix. I might need to start making friends soon.
if the purge was real i'd probably hide in aeropostale because no one has been in there since like 2009
Retweeted by Andrew Marlan
Some days you have to reward yourself with a nice glass of wine. Other days, a bottle will do.
Germany can't win a World War tho. #BackToBackChamps
Nothing is more beautiful than the way a fridge looks after you go grocery shopping.
Netflix is my summer bae.
Wait, Orange is the New Black isn't a documentary?
It's not you, it's your grammar.
The things you hear and see in the guys' locker room at the gym.. 😳
About to turn it all the way down tonight.
Literally have the entire Cheesecake Factory to ourselves because we're exclusive.
A squirrel with a white tail just ran past me. Pretty sure this means I'm being haunted by demons?!?
Fourth of July fireworks drinking game: Take a shot every time you see someone with an American flag shirt from Old Navy.
If I don't chant "USA!" while eating a hotdog at some point today, our Founding Fathers would've died for our sins for no reason.
Me flirting: "Okay."
Maybe you'd have a better relationship with people if you didn't constantly subtweet about them. πŸ˜’
Looking For Alaska > The Fault In Our Stars > Paper Towns
Awkwardly unfavoriting someone's tweet because you were just trying to scroll through your TL. πŸ˜’
I miss when summer meant sleeping in every day and playing The Sims all day.