Madonna is 54 and her bf is 22. Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her bf is 26. If you’re not dating anyone, don’t worry, maybe he isn't born yet.
Someone take me on a date to see "Now You See Me." Kay, thanks!
Storms like these are when a boyfriend would come in handy.
It annoys me when I go on a date and the other person orders a salad. Like excuse me while I replace the bun on my burger with donuts.
The only thing I like about iOS7 is the new ability to block numbers. Goodbye crazy exes.
Someone should create a game that's a combination of The Sims 3 and Grand Theft Auto.
I love how y'all are rooting for which state I move to. Help me find a job and it could actually happen! I'm open to moving to the UK, too.
I applied for journalism jobs in California, Florida, Alabama and Georgia. Obviously I'm trying to escape the Michigan cold.
Applying for journalism jobs across the country is exhausting. I could literally end up anywhere in the country at this point.
If he's amazing, he wont be easy. If he's easy, he wont be amazing.
I don't think this can fit in me. instagram.com/p/aZSzAeHO8M/
Cheating is dumb. If you want to be with multiple people, be single! That's the perk of being single. Get it right. Get it tight.
It makes me really mad when people don't tip their servers appropriately.
If someone's on the top of my Facebook chat but we've never talked, does that mean they stalk me?
Good thing I didn't buy tickets last semester to @danieltosh
's show tonight because my ex and I broke up two months ago. #awkward
Just kidding, I'm very outgoing, hardworking and intelligent. I have a lot of experience so #HireMe
. I'm willing to move.
I want to be YouTube famous so that I can make thousands of dollars each month for working one hour per week.
Where can I illegally download a six pack?
If you find yourself subtweeting your bf/gf on a regular basis, that should probably show you if you should be together or not
If you haven't partied at a Pride Festival, you haven't lived yet.
Randomly posting pictures and videos from my phone onto Facebook because I completely forgot about them. #throwback
Motor City Pride was so much fun yesterday. Can't wait to go to Kalamazoo's next! instagram.com/p/aWKqO0nOx2/
No bigger ego boost than people hitting on you all day/night.
I love being cute and skinny.
Grindr at Pride... #celebritystatus
I can't believe auditions for the Spartan Marching Band are today! I remember auditioning like it was yesterday. Best decision I made!
So sad that my usual Pride buddies are across the country/off the continent. Somehow I'll carry on the festivities without them.
Motor City Pride today! I didn't eat for three days so I could be lovely.
True friends don't have to make promises. You peacefully know they will do the right thing.
My friend just met @yarasofiapr
. I am saltier than a large basket of french fries. pic.twitter.com/bmUCj3HYwo
Is anyone even going to the White Party for Pride tonight? LOL.
Are any of my followers rich and single?
I'm always the friend who tries to include everyone and it's annoying when that isn't reciprocated.
It's really annoying when people overdramatize situations.
In honor of National Donut Day, you get a free donut with any drink from Dunkin' Donuts!
. Who's taking me on a date?
Sometimes aunts and nephews fall in love. It happens. #Sims3Drama pic.twitter.com/yy5hdWk2Os
Yes, this is how I spend Thursday nights with my friends. #cantbetamed
There's a Sims 3 mod for a prostitution profession, where you answer your phone and get paid for WooHooing with strangers. #YoureWelcome
There's a Sims 3 mod for incest and teen pregnancy. Just putting it out there.
The guy making my food at Taco Bell is rapping really loudly. I think I should be impressed with his multitasking skill.
The Magic School Bus is on Netflix. #YoureWelcome
I'm walking downtown in a shirt that says, "FOR RENT" and everyone keeps beeping and waving at me. I'm not actually a prostitute
I feel like lyrics are more powerful when written in all caps.
AND I WONDER IF I EVER CROSS YOUR MIND. CUS I'D RATHER HURT THAN FEEL NOTHING AT ALL.