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Andrew Marlan
Someone asked me today if I had an eating disorder. That is incredibly offensive. Underweight, overweight, we're self-conscious. Be kind.
Literally can't escape the fleet of TSwift tour semis tho. pic.twitter.com/Lig1kmKsu4
Driving behind @taylorswift13's tour semis in Ohio right now. I see you, girl! pic.twitter.com/bg6ikW16QA
LOVE WINS 🎉❤️
Orange is the New Black Season 3 was just released on Netflix. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yes, it bothers me. But one day it won’t.
Everyone knows @katya_zamo should've won. That's why RuPaul's gag worked so well in the finale. You had the chance to make things right, Ru!
Two years ago today, I graduated from MSU. #OldManStatus 👴🏼
BREAKING: 4.0 earthquake reported by USGS near Galesburg, Michigan. Shaking reported as far away as Chicago. Did you feel it?
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I think I just experienced my first earthquake? 😐
Every loving couple & family deserves to be recognized & treated equally under the law across our nation. #LoveMustWin #LoveCantWait –H
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I love accidentally reading spoilers on social media 😀
If you beat Michigan State you win a National Championship.
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Grandparents are everything. ☺️ Best stories, best advice, greatest time.
If you see a teenager today, hand them a SNICKERS. #ByeZayn
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Looking For Alaska > Paper Towns. My heart couldn't handle a Looking For Alaska movie and that's why we need it.
Shopping for new furniture is one of the most exciting things about being an adult. It's like The Sims except real life.
A group of guys came up to me at H&M because they thought I worked here. Not sure if I should be flattered or offended. #WellDressed
I don’t trust people who don’t like Taco Bell.
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We need an answer, President @BarackObama. Our great nation is crumbling. #TheDress
That dress is #whiteandgold. People who say otherwise are wrong and a danger to society.
Lady Gaga is on the cast for the next season of American Horror Story. #OurNewSupreme
Twitter is a lot of people saying "pizza" and everyone clapping
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Everyone keeps asking what I'm doing for Valentine's Day and I'm like 😭
We as a nation need to learn to come together in the wake of tragedy. We are crippling from the inside with intolerance. #ChapelHillShooting
Donated 150 pieces of my old Abercrombie & Fitch/Hollister clothing. Some middle schooler is about to look on point.
If I waive for you to walk in front of my car I better see some knees to chest action getting across that street...KNEES TO CHEST!
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There are moments in life that require a private Twitter. Please keep me in your prayers while I go through one in mine. #NoRTs
Don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
Trip = booked. RT @kfc: To all our US fans wanting the #doubledowndog, sadly it’s only available in @KFCPhilippines. pic.twitter.com/OsPGBVkX1s
I'm convinced a 9-year-old child runs MTV's social media. pic.twitter.com/mQdP3P12rk
President Obama: *Drops mic* #SOTU
"I’ve seen something like gay marriage go from a wedge issue used to drive us apart to a story of freedom." —President Obama #SOTU
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First time at @zingermans! Great experience. If you're ever in Ann Arbor, you must go. pic.twitter.com/5AFbGzfK1w
The Golden Globes is a great reminder that even the most famous celebrities are uncomfortably awkward at conversation. Thank you.
It's 2015, Taco Bell should have drones that deliver. If we can land on the moon, we can deliver tacos airborne to our beds.
The people who make fun of the way foreign people speak English are the same people who don't know the difference between your and you're.
Just won $40 betting that the coat check guy at @DaveandBusters had a master's degree.
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Twitter's new update removed the number of retweets/favorites a tweet gets. 2015 will be the year without selfies.
THE NEW TWITTER UPDATE MAKES FAVORITING THINGS SO COOL.
Happy New Year! New year, same me, because I am perfect.
Single on New Year's, as is tradition.




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