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Andrew Marlan
Looking For Alaska > Paper Towns. My heart couldn't handle a Looking For Alaska movie and that's why we need it.
Shopping for new furniture is one of the most exciting things about being an adult. It's like The Sims except real life.
A group of guys came up to me at H&M because they thought I worked here. Not sure if I should be flattered or offended. #WellDressed
I don’t trust people who don’t like Taco Bell.
Retweeted by Andrew Marlan
We need an answer, President @BarackObama. Our great nation is crumbling. #TheDress
That dress is #whiteandgold. People who say otherwise are wrong and a danger to society.
Lady Gaga is on the cast for the next season of American Horror Story. #OurNewSupreme
Twitter is a lot of people saying "pizza" and everyone clapping
Retweeted by Andrew Marlan
Everyone keeps asking what I'm doing for Valentine's Day and I'm like 😭
We as a nation need to learn to come together in the wake of tragedy. We are crippling from the inside with intolerance. #ChapelHillShooting
Donated 150 pieces of my old Abercrombie & Fitch/Hollister clothing. Some middle schooler is about to look on point.
If I waive for you to walk in front of my car I better see some knees to chest action getting across that street...KNEES TO CHEST!
Retweeted by Andrew Marlan
There are moments in life that require a private Twitter. Please keep me in your prayers while I go through one in mine. #NoRTs
Don't set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
Trip = booked. RT @kfc: To all our US fans wanting the #doubledowndog, sadly it’s only available in @KFCPhilippines. pic.twitter.com/OsPGBVkX1s
I'm convinced a 9-year-old child runs MTV's social media. pic.twitter.com/mQdP3P12rk
President Obama: *Drops mic* #SOTU
"I’ve seen something like gay marriage go from a wedge issue used to drive us apart to a story of freedom." —President Obama #SOTU
Retweeted by Andrew Marlan
First time at @zingermans! Great experience. If you're ever in Ann Arbor, you must go. pic.twitter.com/5AFbGzfK1w
The Golden Globes is a great reminder that even the most famous celebrities are uncomfortably awkward at conversation. Thank you.
It's 2015, Taco Bell should have drones that deliver. If we can land on the moon, we can deliver tacos airborne to our beds.
The people who make fun of the way foreign people speak English are the same people who don't know the difference between your and you're.
Just won $40 betting that the coat check guy at @DaveandBusters had a master's degree.
Retweeted by Andrew Marlan
Twitter's new update removed the number of retweets/favorites a tweet gets. 2015 will be the year without selfies.
THE NEW TWITTER UPDATE MAKES FAVORITING THINGS SO COOL.
Happy New Year! New year, same me, because I am perfect.
Single on New Year's, as is tradition.
If you're wearing Uggs with a dress, I'm going to stop you right there.
Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one.
my constant mood is the nail painting emoji
Retweeted by Andrew Marlan
Everyone's outfits are on point after Christmas 👌
PSN is back up! And now I have trust issues.
Very disappointed how long Sony is taking to resolve the issue with PSN. All I want to do is play my new PS4. Not the best first impression.
Shopping the day after Christmas has me like 😳😐
Another phenomenal Christmas in the books. So thankful for my family. ❤️ #blessed
*Hibernates until Christmas*
American Horror Story is great at making you depressed right before bed. Sweet dreams, everyone!
Forever breaking the promise to myself to go to bed at a decent time to avoid feeling like death in the morning.
True mark of adulthood: instead of your parents scheduling your doctor's appointments, you just avoid going to the doctor & hope u don't die
Retweeted by Andrew Marlan
The cashier gave me a gift receipt for my groceries. Thanks.. 😒
This is why you don't mess with Jessica Lange. #AHS
If you don't watch at least one Christmas movie per day, you're not doing December right.
Today I am thankful to be alive for another Thanksgiving with family. And wine. God bless wine.
If you're going to be ignorant and offensive be ignorant and offensive. Don't camouflage your hate and call it an opinion on current events.
One Direction just beat Beyoncé for Artist of the Year. Not throwing shade, just live tweeting the #AMAs. 🐸☕️
Not a fan of the Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber relationship drama, but that was one powerfully emotional performance. #AMAs
American Horror Story, killing off our favorite characters since 2011.
One Direction's new album "Four" just dropped on iTunes and it is phenomenal. Lights down, headphones in. 🎧🎶