No I wasn't ignoring you, I had to walk my unicorn.
If you don?t do stupid things while you?re young, you?ll have nothing to smile about when your older.
Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it? - Albert Einstein
Now I'm gonna ask you one question, and all I want is a yes or no answer: Do you wanna live through this? Dusk Till Dawn
The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense
Wait a minute, Doc. Ah. Are you telling me you built a time machine,out of a DeLorean? - Back To the Future
Money can't buy happiness but it can buy marshmallows. Which is pretty much the same thing.
The most impressive thing about marathon runners is how they don't check their phone for 3+ hours.
its all fun and games until someone get bit.
I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.
Love is no game for the weak
Shall we play a game? WarGames
You know it's cold, when you go outside and it's cold.
Nothing is too BIG to FAIL -Rome
Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at that witch, eating those crackers like she own the place."
That's a big Twinkie. Ghostbustsers
Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm going to give it my best shot - Zoolander
Naps are tricky, you either wake up refreshed and relaxed, or you have a headache, dry throat, and no idea what year you're in.
Kleenex tissue was initially a filter for gas masks.
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the Etherbunny
E.T.'s real name is Zrek.
1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d..... :)
You're a model? The toilet in the background of your pictures looks fabulous.
You know you're amazing when people you don't even know hate you.
Snails can sleep for up to 3 years.
The lottery is a tax for people who are bad at math.
We want Google to Be the third half of you brain - Sergery Brin
That moment when your toothpaste does a suicide dive off of your toothbrush.
The secret we should never let the gamemasters know is that they don't need any rules - Gary Gygax #dnd
Often, a school is your best bet-perhaps not for education but certainly for protection from an undead attack. Max Brooks #zombies
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back - Gladiator
Lite: the new way to spell "Light", now with 20% fewer letters!
If you let people walk over you now, they'll be walking over you for the rest of your life - Back To The Future
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
Hamburgers: the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. -Jules Winnfield - Pulp Fiction
There's no such thing as a bottomless pit. Everybody knows that. #dnd #famouslastwords
My intention has only been to entertain, nothing more - The Illusionist
It's only takes me 2.5 hours of wasting time on the internet to do five minutes of work.
Instead of tagging me in ugly pictures on Facebook, I wish you could just say I hate you straight to my face.
Don't piss me off. I'm close to leveling and you look like exp. #dnd
On a scale from 1 to Adele, how tough was your breakup?
We can all live together. There's enough room for all of us. - Rick - The Walking Dead #zombies
If content is king, then conversion is queen. John Munsell
Excuse me, miss, you've got a little bit of face on your makeup there.
Do you ever just wake up and go nope and roll over and go back to sleep
I can't believe it's been over a year since the world ended. #rapture
*shakes fist at code* ... That is all..
My Whole Life... has been a lie.. :|