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Not my best but not bad. XD 🔫@WaltherFirearms
On a scale of 1 to successfully folding a fitted sheet,
what's your sorcery level?
Negative 2 here
I have a habit of 5 starring bad movies on amazon because if I wasted 90+ minutes on that crap, I want you to suffer too.
My brain function:
75% - song lyrics & movie quotes
24% - random stuff from 20 yrs ago
.05% - what I ate for breakfast yesterday
.05% - huh
Hey y'all, I finally got a smart phone. I'm a big girl now!
Anyone got a 5 year old I can borrow to teach me how to use the damn thing?
Sorry I'm not home right now, I'm walking into spiderwebs.
P.S. if you see me at a One Direction concert Saturday, that's not me.
I can't do this anymore. I'm outta here..
..until next week. Hah. Gotcha.
Don't you forget about me.
Haha #tbt to my first FX makeup that I did in high school on my friend Steph. My skills have definitely improved since then XD
#fxmakeup #specialeffects #startedfromthebottom
Best pizza I've had in awhile #Detroit
Nice kitty! #Detroit #comerica #DetroitTigers
Capuchin Souper Summer Celebration fireworks.
It's so pretty 😍 #macbookpro
My Friday night consists of Game of Thrones, tacos and a unicorn onesie. I'm not mad.
So, this is what raw almonds look like. #themoreyouknow
Damn! I really wanted to pet a raptor! @prattprattpratt
Got some new goodies from @tartecosmetics.
Update: I am seriously impressed with the Amazonian clay foundation it makes your skin look absolutely flawless, it stays on all day, it's oil free, and it feels amazing on. I might be in love 😍
#makeup #tartecosmetics #parkaveprincess
I heard white suburban moms just snort Starbucks coffee grounds that they bought from Target
Is this true?
DOMO!! #gogreen #michiganstate #msu #spartans Shout out to @spartyonjoe for getting me this amazing beast! #thankyou
#MSU #pizza #Spartans #gogreen
Oh fer crissakes it's a hi in a DM, not a fucking marriage proposal voodoo hex
Laundry CAN be fun, when they forget to empty their pockets. I just earned
a friendship bracelet &
a Lego Batman
All mine SUUCKAS!
I like to think I'm funny. 😆
#himym #nph #legendary
frogs are bullshit. theyre just fucked up fish. i dont believe in frogs
zookeeper: sir no ones asking you to believe just put the gun down
I may have gone on a bit of a spree. 💸 #helpme#clarisonic#mia3#mac#bobbibrown#brave#purity#philosophy#sephora#haul#vibrouge
@l_dizzle123 I regret nothing!! #foodporn#datenight#yummy#drinks#noodles#sushi#cake
WARNING: MELTDOWN IN PROGRESS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ahhhh this is seriously amazing! Thank you so much @jb_shadowninja for the dairy milk Oreo bars!! 😘😍😆
Ahhh this is seriously amazing and I think I might have enough candy to last me a life time!! Lol Thanks Matty! 🍒🍭🍬🍫 #candyjar
Green and white cocktail. Way to go Spartans!
This is seriously amazing! #thankyou #rolex #perfume
Ohhh fancy candy! #Rolex #candy #chocolate
Listen, plan on washing your face the same as you always do, even as a serial killer. Just saying.
How many more g’s do you need, Gregg? HOW MANY???
*violently shakes Gregg*
*g’s fall from his pockets*
Looking for a part-time job. Preferably on the weekends or weeknights. Technology-driven with activities including alcohol, food, and couch.
All primary colors are racist.
There, I said it.
These are seriously good. 😍
For my woman Twitter friends that don't get told it every day, you are beautiful and make me smile!
I took the forbidden fruit and made a smoothie with it.
Ok, let's do this!
*Update: this game is evil and my mouth is on fire🔥* #terrified#doritos#roulette#spicy
Guys seriously go checkout @viiviipuff she's an amazing artist and she has pretty awesome hair XD #art #amazing #artist #fucking#love#her
The only "B" word you should call a woman is beautiful. Bitches love to be called beautiful.
I just parked like such a dick I thought about keying my own car.
I silently mouth the words "what the fuck?" at least 20 times a day.
'Hey wind! Blow me'
Monday? Nah,it's always the weekend when you have no job, no goals, no motivation, no life, no home, no couch.. Where was I going with this?
The thing I like about twitter? It's simple. We all understand each other. It's a whole other world in here, fucked up and beautiful..