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Alixandra
It's cute that you think I read all your tweets...nope, I just see hot avi's and start mashing buttons Being illiterate doesn't help either
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Unicorns will always exist if you keep a steady dose of hallucinogenic drugs in your system So help prevent their extinction Do drugs kids
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Oh, you actually care what people think about you on here? HAHAHAHAHAHA
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My plan for the day? Same as always....drink coffee and be sexy.
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We got matching cases!! XD #Casetify #casetagram #bestfriends
Sorry I stopped performing the Heimlich on you when I got Twitter notifications.
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Got to share my ice lolly with this little beast. #puppyfriendly
BREAKING NEWS: Taylor Swift just sneezed and Harry Styles didn't say bless you. Album is said to be released early 2013.
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Oh you'd wreck my pussy if we fucked? Bro, I'd wreck your entire life if we fucked.
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Welcome to Twitter. Sorry for what's about to happen to you.
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A lot of vegan food options are made from soy beans but I believe the innocent soy bean should be free. I will not support soybean cruelty.
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While on phone Baby, I only think of you A cute guy passes Winks at him Oh yeah baby! I am here. Just lost the network
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I have car-like reflexes "Don't you mean cat-like refl-" *instantly inflates airbag in your face* Nope
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I think it's best if I tell you right now that if you can wrap a gift properly AND fold a fitted sheet I consider you a witch.
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I am one Uber ride away from completely forgetting you're supposed to give a cab driver money before you get out.
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@FavstarOfTheDay: Congrats @AlixGoesRawr! @TheMossman82 picked your tweet as Tweet of the Day: favstar.fm/t/479677510998…” Thank you!! 😃
No YOU just spent a ridiculous amount of time on the treadmill just so you could have a bottle of wine.
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Another day has come and gone and none of you have given me a trophy for every mediocre thought I have...what the hell ever!
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I’ve lost my thesaurus – I can’t find the words to describe how upset I am.
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Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.
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People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.
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Drinking with my demons is easier than battling them.
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Omnomnom s'mores cookie
Yes, I'm staring at you. Yes, for an uncomfortable amount of time. I apologize, but it's not my fault that you're super pretty.
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I want sushi for breakfast. Let's make that a thing.
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*goes to grocery store for peanut butter* *spends $77* *forgets peanut butter*
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It's payday I'm rich for exactly 12 minutes.
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The decline of civilization started when they stopped putting toys in boxes of cereal.
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Social media on a Friday night? It's okay we are in this together I'll share my vodka
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Today was just a bit to cold for converse & no socks. You win winter.
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I'll never judge anyone on their actions. I will however let it determine what pieces of me they get.
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Chinese chick with a speech impediment trying to tell me I'm 'Perfect', but thought she was offering me a parfait. Parfaits are delicious.
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How to piss off the Internet: Arrested Development is not that good of a show.
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I know I should have held you closer, know I should have tweeted you better...
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I’m all for world peace, but if you touch my pizza I won't hesitate to start world war 3.
*In BBC nature voice* "Flying fucks are by far the most majestic of all the fucks."
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If money can't buy happiness, explain pizza.
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If you follow me but never RT me, I'm just going to assume you're working for the FBI and you're waiting for me to slip up.
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There are days when I fucking hate everybody. Today, though, is not one of those days... Hahaha! JK. I fucking hate you all...
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Yeahh I had to buy it! @sephora #makeup #50shadesofgrey #giveintome #MUFE
Thank you all for making 2014 an amazing year! I can't wait to see what 2015 has to offer. 😆
Happy New Year!! #🍕
😍 ahhhh I'm in love with my new charm bracelet! Thank you @jb_shadowninja!! #DRW
Normal girls are made of sugar and spice. I am made of vodka, cranberry and ice.
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Long ago, when 2 people had the same thought at the same time we said "Jinx!". Now it's all like "You stole my Tweet motherfucker!"
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Men: It's not called babysitting when you are looking after your own children. It's called parenting for fuck sake!
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