"I'm not judging your friends but, why are there 3 heavily tattooed boys in my living room watching the little mermaid?"
I love my mom 😂
The sky is throwing a royal bitch fit right now. #SummerStorms #lazyday
Nachos for breakfast? Yes...
I think I might start writing again.
RT for Boston
FAV for Chicago
Predictions also anyone?
So I have something called a favstar. I'm not really sure what it is but I like it!! favstar.fm/users/alixgoes…
My life coach just informed me I didn't make the team.
No one writes letters like this anymore. Just by reading these letters you could tell how much he truly loved her. #hopelessromantic
i want sushi so bad right now!!!
You're tacky and I hate you...
The lack of McDonald's with PlayPlaces, annoys me.
How can I possibly sneak in as an Adult to play if they are becoming extinct?
Ppl are stingy when it comes to retweeting. what you only wanna favorite my shit because showing it on your TL will ruin your rep?
Ehhhhh but it's Saturday... Why do we have to get up early
4am, can't sleep? Sounds like a perfect time for a sandwich... Go make me a sandwich.....Please.
Every time I come back to the house it seems like there's more and more sand just everywhere...
I know this tweet is a bit late but........ #SUCKITCROSBY
<) )╯ all the single ladies
\( (> all the single ladies
<) )╯ put your hands up
There is currently sand everywhere! I'm not complaining, I just thought you should know. #BeachProbs
MOM! I TOLD YOU TO PUT THE GLAZE ON MY TOASTER STRUDEL 46 SECONDS AFTER TOASTING! THIS GLAZE TASTES LIKE 63 SECONDS! YOU'RE GOING TO A HOME!
I only started this account so I'd have tons of fake boyfriends to choose from for my high school reunion.
Spoiler: Snape kills Macklemore
Late night beach bonfire with some friends? uhhhh yes!!
So tell me guys.... Was The Purge any good?
A creepy @ with a grammatical error? Wow, you really know how to impress a girl. Not this girl, but you know, a girl somewhere.
I never understood how you could so easily let go of something that you claimed to love.
A relationship without trust is like a phone without service. And what do you do with a phone without service?
You play games.
Drake really did start from the bottom. Like that time Ashley did ecstasy and made out with Sean. Or when Spinner stole his MP3 player.
Wish I could spend the entire night in the hot tub
Ahhhh someone go see the purge with me!!! it looks so good!
Pittsburgh Penguins fan reacts to losing in double OT -> ow.ly/lKZ5x
BOSTON WINS IN DOUBLE OVER TIME!!! #SuckItCrosby
What a great hockey game.
In other news, this gum taste like I'm chewing on a bouncy ball!
So I got this giant gum ball at Meijer. pic.twitter.com/iYXvPMmwmP
Bought some new panties after a breakup & going binge drinking.
At least when the EMS find me I will be hot from the waist down
These gas prices are seriously killing me...
I'm a random ass person. #dealwithit
*walks inside Walmart* omg somebody call the fashion police
Amanda Bynes' checklist:
✔ Go batshit crazy on Twitter
✔ Get arrested a lot
✔ Look like a crack ho
❒ make awful rap album
❒ fuck Drake
I love the invites to the the Capuchin Summer Party at Comerica Park. They're always so creative each year. pic.twitter.com/cH5U9Mb0Z0
has got to be the stupidest hashtag. If you're tweetin that you may as well tweet #ReasonsWhyImSingle