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Alan Garner
music comedy actor 1,030,891 followers
Retweet if you have ever ran up the stairs in fear because you felt an evil presence behind you.
When you finish watching a show on Netflix:
When the “bae” likes your selfie:
Retweet this if you would rather go to Hogwarts than Harvard.
Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues...
If mom can't find it, it's gone forever.
#ThatAwkwardMoment when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you are stupid.
If I had a dollar for every time someone annoyed me:
Sooo, Hitler’s mom looks like Michael Cera. That is all.
#ThatAwkwardMoment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow.
When someone tells you to go on a diet, and you’re just like
Do you think it's weird that a round pizza with triangle slices comes in a square box?
If your friends aren't making fun of you, they're not really your friends.
When you wake up in the middle of the night, and realize that you still have time to sleep: