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Alan Garner
music comedy actor 1,030,989 followers
Twitter is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
When someone talks back to their mom in front their friends:
The best day of gym class, RT if you remember:
When someone calls me fat while I’m eating:
Girl: “Come over.” Me: “I can’t, I have to watch the house.” Girl: “But nobody is home ;)” Me:
When someone doesn’t reply to my text message:
Something doesn’t quite add up here…
I love when someone's laugh is funnier than the joke.
If you have never eaten one of these, you had no childhood:
Friend: Will come with me to the store? Me: No. Friend: I’ll buy you something. Me:
Everyone else is in a relationship, and I’m just sitting here like
When you’re at a party full of people you don’t know, and your friend disappears:
Best friends; They know how weird you are, and still choose to be seen with you in public.
When one of your siblings annoys you, but your mom is right there:
This is still my favorite photobomb ever: