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Alan Garner

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"
Me trying to comfort someone who is crying.
When I text someone in the same room as me and I'm waiting for them to see it.
How most people see America:
Me as a dog owner:
Waiter there's a hare in my pancakes.
I can't believe how accurate this is... Mind = blown!
Sure, you see a rat... But I see a hardworking dad just trying to feed his 4 teenage turtles.
When you wake up a minute before your alarm goes off and you needed that last minute to make it through the day.
When Mary Jane is in trouble but attendance is 20% of your grade.
When you're watching your dogs nap and you realize how much you love them and how lucky you are to have them
When you start a business but you have a life also.
When you figure out who the killer is before the episode ends
I think this girl slept with Tiger Woods and Jay Z...
When you break up with Lauren
This is just beautiful
I wish I was as happy as this seal.
When you turn 100 and can't play with Lego anymore.
Me: Mom I'm going to a party later Mom: Do you have a ride home? Me:
It all makes sense now.
Hardest decision of my childhood.
Talking to your parents after you turn 18.
Usain Bolt is so fast, he has time to smile for pictures mid-race
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