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Alan Garner
musiccomedyactor 1,032,740 followers
No wonder my electricity bill was so high this month. pic.twitter.com/2DZWidTb8e
How your face feels after the dentist: pic.twitter.com/q3WoEYhTF2
When you wake up from a nap and you want food pic.twitter.com/xhClYan9rv
That moment when you accidentally open the front camera pic.twitter.com/67oy3nAr4l
Free cookie dough when you buy a Ouija board? Like wtf, you gonna bake cookies for the devil? pic.twitter.com/ynGub0f8rk
When your friend gives you the AUX cord pic.twitter.com/nirJOoPZiY
Me: For christmas I want a dragon! Santa: Be realistic. Me: Ok I want a girlfriend. Santa: What color do you want your dragon?
*walks out of exam* Me: So what did you get for question 8? Friend: 7.433 so easy. Me: Same, so easy. *walks off* pic.twitter.com/DaxQMKxhYb
When you have no idea how to do the problem on a math test pic.twitter.com/sTO9mjr1tL
Waking up every day in October like pic.twitter.com/5EzrDqkiY9
If emojis were human, this world would be a scary place: pic.twitter.com/fZ3BTDkbT5
When someone eats the food you were hiding in the fridge: pic.twitter.com/5IxRdfXL5r
Saddest picture I have ever seen. RT if you cried… pic.twitter.com/x92hiwI298
When you’re falling in your dream and it wakes you up: pic.twitter.com/BhwKXBA3eU
If you’ve never experienced this, you’re too young: pic.twitter.com/eaqpJh2OFE
When the delivery guy arrives with your food: pic.twitter.com/qRucka7CcE
When everyone is discussing answers after the test and you put nothing similar... pic.twitter.com/6AVNcuMJd5
When your mom gives you money and then asks what happened to the change pic.twitter.com/KkaOkoYs0A
If you flip a photo of bats hanging upside down, they look like they’re having a wicked dance-off: pic.twitter.com/inidycAkdz
There has only been a month of school and I’m already like pic.twitter.com/O8TdVaHSyY
The two emojis pretty much describe my life: pic.twitter.com/DhyMhIV1Ju
Just another example of how proper grammar can save lives: pic.twitter.com/ddLIJ9PepV
There are two types of people in this world: pic.twitter.com/G1TnZ6esLr
When you and the bae agree on somewhere to eat: pic.twitter.com/FF8q1WOHC7
When you leave a party and you’re still drunk: pic.twitter.com/nwgEm0WF1W
Whenever the waiter comes by to ask how the food is, I’m always like pic.twitter.com/vidf2KhWzj
Everything I hate in life in one picture: pic.twitter.com/KedmuYyjHt
When someone wakes you up but you’re not ready: pic.twitter.com/lo5S7VCB4B
When you're in class tweeting and someone in your class retweets it: pic.twitter.com/IAAe7sWlNQ