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Alan Garner
musiccomedyactor 1,032,740 followers
I always choose the register with the sexiest cashier:
"Excuse me, teacher, you forgot to collect last night's homewo-"
When your mom calls you down for dinner and it's not even ready...
German and British troops forgot about the war for a moment and played football in the Christmas Truce of 1914 in WW…
Retweeted by Alan Garner
When you're on the phone, and you start walking around doing weird things:
Most accurate life advice I've ever seen:
When the person in front of you is walking too slow:
When you forget your earphones are plugged in and you walk away from your laptop
When your paper has to be a certain length:
I wish I could enjoy life as much as this turtle!
When you're home alone and finally get to be yourself:
When someone introduces themselves and they have the same name as you:
This is the only cake I want for my birthday
I must be getting old because who in the hell is this guy…
When you have no idea how to do the problem on a math test