Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Want a page like this?
Alan Garner
musiccomedyactor 1,030,989 followers
Twitter is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
When someone talks back to their mom in front their friends:
The best day of gym class, RT if you remember:
When someone calls me fat while I’m eating:
Girl: “Come over.” Me: “I can’t, I have to watch the house.” Girl: “But nobody is home ;)” Me:
When someone doesn’t reply to my text message:
Something doesn’t quite add up here…
I love when someone's laugh is funnier than the joke.
If you have never eaten one of these, you had no childhood:
Friend: Will come with me to the store? Me: No. Friend: I’ll buy you something. Me:
Everyone else is in a relationship, and I’m just sitting here like
When you’re at a party full of people you don’t know, and your friend disappears:
Best friends; They know how weird you are, and still choose to be seen with you in public.
When one of your siblings annoys you, but your mom is right there:
This is still my favorite photobomb ever:
When you try to kill a spider and it gets away:
When someone won’t shut up, and you’re just like, shhhh
My face whenever I prove someone wrong:
When the cashier holds up your money to see if it’s real, and you’re just like
Retweet if your laugh emoji is first:
When you’re trying not to laugh during a serious moment:
“Do you even lift bro?” Me: Ya…
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke? "It's open."
If you tickle my feet I am not responsible for what happens to your face.
When they don’t text you back, but you see them tweeting
When you accidentally type “yesh” instead of “yeah”
When you really have to sneeze but it won’t come out:
When you’re watching the “bae” from a distance talking to someone else
You honestly will not regret reading this entire conversation:
When someone eats the food you were hiding:
I don't know why I still laugh at this, but I do:
Everyone is talking about having their summer beach body, and I’m just standing here like
#IHateWhen I'm about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.