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Alan Garner
musiccomedyactor 1,032,740 followers
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Most accurate life advice I've ever seen:
When the person in front of you is walking too slow:
When you forget your earphones are plugged in and you walk away from your laptop
When your paper has to be a certain length:
I wish I could enjoy life as much as this turtle!
When you're home alone and finally get to be yourself:
When someone introduces themselves and they have the same name as you:
This is the only cake I want for my birthday
I must be getting old because who in the hell is this guy…
When you have no idea how to do the problem on a math test
No wonder my electricity bill was so high this month.
How your face feels after the dentist:
When you wake up from a nap and you want food
That moment when you accidentally open the front camera
Free cookie dough when you buy a Ouija board? Like wtf, you gonna bake cookies for the devil?