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Alan Garner
musiccomedyactor 1,030,989 followers
Twitter is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
When someone talks back to their mom in front their friends: pic.twitter.com/8RLetkTl4v
The best day of gym class, RT if you remember: pic.twitter.com/cgE5qR41k8
When someone calls me fat while I’m eating: pic.twitter.com/yp907z16bn
Girl: “Come over.” Me: “I can’t, I have to watch the house.” Girl: “But nobody is home ;)” Me: pic.twitter.com/agJuoYVdI3
When someone doesn’t reply to my text message: pic.twitter.com/fO3KLzUy3U
Something doesn’t quite add up here… pic.twitter.com/itym4sDVcA
I love when someone's laugh is funnier than the joke.
If you have never eaten one of these, you had no childhood: pic.twitter.com/jDE7eHCiTI
Friend: Will come with me to the store? Me: No. Friend: I’ll buy you something. Me: pic.twitter.com/YhEd9wpoos
Everyone else is in a relationship, and I’m just sitting here like pic.twitter.com/zXe8yMcOeC
When you’re at a party full of people you don’t know, and your friend disappears: pic.twitter.com/gnd77QMvil
Best friends; They know how weird you are, and still choose to be seen with you in public.
When one of your siblings annoys you, but your mom is right there: pic.twitter.com/t2oLULZru5
This is still my favorite photobomb ever: pic.twitter.com/CMJrtVshIy
When you try to kill a spider and it gets away: pic.twitter.com/964vvf1vSs
When someone won’t shut up, and you’re just like, shhhh pic.twitter.com/8uzzdYlzWa
My face whenever I prove someone wrong: pic.twitter.com/ztU4GLCjTV
When the cashier holds up your money to see if it’s real, and you’re just like pic.twitter.com/7H1MG57Ekf
Retweet if your laugh emoji is first: pic.twitter.com/DQKjZrRlGT
When you’re trying not to laugh during a serious moment: pic.twitter.com/13p92IGwpC
“Do you even lift bro?” Me: Ya… pic.twitter.com/UPddWyZsyX
Fast way to screw up someone's Knock Knock joke? "It's open."
If you tickle my feet I am not responsible for what happens to your face.
When they don’t text you back, but you see them tweeting pic.twitter.com/zr4bDqGYif
When you accidentally type “yesh” instead of “yeah” pic.twitter.com/I3rQag3jjw
When you really have to sneeze but it won’t come out: pic.twitter.com/oGlgHRU17J
When you’re watching the “bae” from a distance talking to someone else pic.twitter.com/ifkAqq9aJ7
You honestly will not regret reading this entire conversation: pic.twitter.com/OOby57S0p1
When someone eats the food you were hiding: pic.twitter.com/ZvbSEkCRps
I don't know why I still laugh at this, but I do: pic.twitter.com/BRx3un5TMW
Everyone is talking about having their summer beach body, and I’m just standing here like pic.twitter.com/0QnfaOQE6D
#IHateWhen I'm about to hug someone really sexy, and my face hits the mirror.