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Alan Garner

Five minutes into photosynthesis and chill
I aspire to reach this level of comfort
My love life in a picture
"I don't know, sometimes I feel like there's more to life than eating honey and stealing picnic baskets..."
When you lie on your resume but still get the job.
"Ya I might go... I'll let you know."
"Excuse me waiter... there's a hare in my pancakes."
Oh look, Oreo flavored Oreos..
When people ask me what I do for fun.
Oh I thought his brother was an elephant
Trying to make a joke that doesn't offend anyone in 2016.
When you're trying to stay healthy but your demons still haunt you.
Have we not suffered enough...
The rules for any car adventure. RT to spread awareness:
People: Are you ok??? Me:
When your friend who died at the pregame shows up to the party.
"Can you be serious for 1 second?" Me:
"Where do you see yourself in 10 years?"
Me trying to comfort someone who is crying.
When I text someone in the same room as me and I'm waiting for them to see it.
How most people see America:
Waiter there's a hare in my pancakes.
I can't believe how accurate this is... Mind = blown!
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