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Alan Carr
@AlanCarr My little girls Ashleigh&Alisha (pic) have @BattenDiseaseUK a terminal Illness pls help me help them with a RT 4 awareness
Retweeted by Alan Carr
Can't believe I photo bombed @therealgokwan x RT @boy_elliott: What is @AlanCarr doing behind elaine and Gok
Big up to people who have kids. Just took 2 yr old to get haircut. My God. Nearly had to resort to headlock and general anaesthetic!! Ha!
Pulsating radio next as on XFM @AlanCarr will decided who has made the better cake. Will it be @joshwiddicomeb or @producerfearny?
Retweeted by Alan Carr
Being dragged round London looking for dinosaurs - if you see any let me know!!
Spending a lovely day with my little nephew - he only says 'Ow' 'Pow' and. 'Bam' talking to him is like having a fight with a cartoon batman
I'm on Xfm in the flesh (not silhouette) tomorrow morning with @joshwiddicombe at 10am - nighty night y'all x
Telling my Nan all about your lovely comments on twitter re #chattyman - she's in bits here. I've had to wring out her unitard #bless
If you have a 'fat person in a unitard' fetish you are going to love #chattyman tonight
I'd like to see an elephants leg 'slut drop'?
I once pole danced and someone said I reminded them of the elephants leg in a kebab shop window #uncalledfor #rude
People tweeting that my tweets put them off kebabs! Kebabs put me off kebabs!
The way the dirt was peeling off my face reminded me of how they get the kebab meat off the elephants leg.
I think I've exfoliated so much tonight I can see a cheekbone
Whoop whoop! RT @dealornodeal: @AlanCarr We can't wait to see you in the Dream Factory!
@AlanCarr BIG Thank you for being so kind to my guests & I last night, Your a star !Ps Were U Daggering behind me?Xx
Retweeted by Alan Carr
Well, when you have such delicate wrists......
Think I've got repetitive strain injury from waving #lorraine
Ok so I've decided to do 'deal or no deal' to raise money for Stand Up 2 Cancer. Mates, aquaintances randoms expect a phone call #boxopeners
@AlanCarr Distinctive former pub near Old Trafford to become McDonald's drive-through"
Retweeted by Alan Carr