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Alan Carr

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A) found my phone (it was under dog) B) @chattyman is on (well it started 10 minutes ago - would have tweeted earlier - see A) enjoy!!
Childminded my friends kids all afternoon - nearly got one run over on an electric railway and then ended up on a nudist beach!
"@Bexxy1976: @AlanCarr ALAN!!! Cobblers. Wembley. Tomorrow. Can we get some GOOD LUCK from our 2nd favourite Carr #YourDadTheLegend"
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Just got a mahoosive bunch of flowers from Rod Stewart as you do pic.twitter.com/AaPnDzH8Ko
Does anyone else find The Tipping Point mesmerising?!!! It's like the snake in Jungle Book #trustinmetrustinme
Congratulations Nicola! Well deserved! xRT @nicolamay1: #Thebowwowclub already has 6 x 5 STAR REVIEWS! amazon.co.uk/product-review…
@AlanCarr please retweet & help my son who is 15 Wk old in picu awaiting a heart transplant #savebabyOSCAR say #yes to #organdonation
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Do you still have to pick up the dog poo if its on the black stripe? You can hardly see it #zebracrossingrules
Dogs just stopped and done a poo on a zebra crossing - oh, it's going to be one of those days is it?!
OMG! You have got to see @kylieminogue as SHE-RA bit.ly/SheRaKylie
Thank you for all your kind comments about my BAFTA!! Love you. Brap brap xx
Dogs have won - can you let me know about the antique accordion please? Does it go to auction? I need to know x
@AlanCarr It's a bit like that in our house... "Nappy changes after Jeremy Kyle, not during." #selfishshitting
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Look dogs, we'll have a walk after Dickinson's Real Deal #pushypets
Hope I'm not sick on the red carpet. #BAFTAs
Loved Rei-Rei last night!!!
How many slippery nipples last night?!!!!!! Ouch! X
And you're following me! oops!RT @C10ugh_1: @AlanCarr nobody gives a fuck who you are, your just like all the other nobody's of this world.
"@AlanCarr: Went to 'the Bell' - great cocktails - great staff!!!" LOVELY - never enjoyed a beer - has to be DR Pepper style from now on!
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Went to the Jules in Reigate and told 'no-one knows who you are here' by the bouncer who went in & told everyone who I was!! Go to The Bell!
Amazed that we got into @ChefTonyTobin's #thediningroom tonight to celebrate @olliesphots birthday. Been dying 2 go 4 ages, so worth the w8!
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And the 'Market Stores' in Reigate - had slippery nipple - tasty x
Went to 'the Bell' - great cocktails - great staff!!!
Pub crawl in Reigate - what could go possibly wrong?!!
Eating at my fav restaurant in Surrey(Reigate) "The Dining Rooms" & sat opposite me was my fav comedian @AlanCarr Top food & great company!x
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Let's all wish @olliesphots a Happy Birthday!!!
@AlanCarr This Charity is close to my heart, I wonder if I can get #KidsKidneyResearch trending? Charity for Children with Kidney diseases x
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@AlanCarr your show has made my day couldn't stop laughing!!!! Loves u loads xxx pic.twitter.com/Hws8sJZOyx
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Star Wars being made in the UK - bagsy C3PO
Morning all - still got a tattoo
That is my chin at the top of the twit pic - not one of my balls - who do you think I am??!! Kirk Norcross ;)
Anyway your lovely comments about #chattyman cheered me (and my tit) right up - Ta loves xxxx
If it doesn't come off with wire wool - I'll have to get a skin graft!! #sore
I've nearly scoured my nipple off!!!!
Hmm! Make- up girl said just put a bit of baby oil on your transfer tattoo to remove it - 2 days later! pic.twitter.com/1lZDU2TmrI
Thank you #Chattyman here's the official video link for those asking xx Imagine It Was Us: youtu.be/u03f5Wnwff0
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I still have splinters in my face! #birdhouseasfascinator
Onesie, fave tipple, plumped cushions & smelling salts in order tonight tweeps! 10pm. Sofa. See you there :) Sam x pic.twitter.com/cO5CRzKM1C
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Lugging a lethargic Rottweiler around a council estate in the pissing down rain was actually fun. #crossthatoffmybucketlist
Final screen shot from yesterday's session with @AlanCarr as a modern day Keith Talent. pic.twitter.com/BTadH2WgIT
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Morning all - got a photo shoot today - how exciting! *finishes breakfast and leg bombs through kimono*