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Alan Carr
Right Monday let's do this!! *unloads dishwasher to the opening bars of Eye of The Tiger*
Hmmm moving on! Good luck to both couples #strictly
Oh ok...........
Karma Chameleon #StrictlyComeDancing what's not to love?
MISSING. 15 YEARS OLD. Chelsea Abraham #camberwell #london since 08/09. Seen her?Call 116000 via @missingpeople
Retweeted by Alan Carr
Happy Birthday to @Rylan and also to my Dad Graham who is 70 today! So similar it's scary 😉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Have you voted yet? Alan's up for Best Chat Show Host and you have till midnight Sunday to vote!! >> Sam x #NTAs
Retweeted by Alan Carr
Sadly one Xmas Alan bauble died 😟
Thank you to @FromPaperchase for sending me a box of Xmas Alan baubles
You are so sweet with your comments about @chattyman - what lovely guests - don't forget to watch @jackwhitehall talking nuts now! X
Absolutely buckled with laughing at Alan Carr chatty man tonight 😂�#ClassActc#Hilariousu#FunniestHostst@AlanCarrrr
Retweeted by Alan Carr
We will love! Whoop xRT @SarahWard94: @AlanCarr and @taylorswift13 would host the best slumber party ever, they need to have and invite me!
Oi @chattyman is on in 15 mins with Taylor Swift, James Nesbit and Kevin Bridges - it's a right laugh - hope you like it too xxxx
Yes I know, it's got stamp written all over it
This artwork has just arrived at @AlanCarr - love it! But no letter - who are Pegasus!?
Look just vote for me at the and I'll kiss whatever body part you want!! Jeez you are SO demanding!! X
Spoilsport 😉RT@yarner999:@AlanCarrr come hear then *kels puckers up* "no tongues though"
Look, I'll kiss you all on the cock if you vote for me at the #NTAs!!!! ......oh wait there.......
Thank you too all the people who voted for me at the NTA's - I want to kiss you all!!! Xx
Someone replaced my dog with Scrappy Doo overnight
Dogs stopped and done a shit on the zebra crossing then nicked a child's biscuit and the angry parent told ME off - I'm going back to bed.
I'm even in bits at the happy stories on #pogdogs #gizmo #freddie
When I worked at Tesco on the one basket only checkout Tesco was Britain's favourite supermarket in the UK - now, not so. Coincidence?
Off to do a photoshoot for my upcoming tour poster - excited? Hell yeah!
Saw Book Of Mormon tonight - sooo near the knuckle - loved it!
My previous tweet re: potato gratin - yes I know it was Chloe Jasmine and NOT Oscar Wilde - I foolishly assumed Twitter would be clever.....
'Some people can bring salmon, others can bring Potato Gratin' - Oscar Wilde
I love Ben 😘😘😘�@M0nkeyb0yBakerak@AlanCarrC@RugbyBenCohenohen And let's face it, if Ben Cohen loves you who cares about anything else!
Retweeted by Alan Carr
@AlanCarr @tomtimmy123456 more evidence of correlation between spelling ability and homophobic cuntiness
Retweeted by Alan Carr
I never block on twitter- I like to know what these people are up to so I can cross the street when they come down it.
At least get the spelling right you twat! RT @tomtimmy123456: @AlanCarr Get ebowla you annoying homo
And yet you FOLLOW me!!! Jeez! RT @tomtimmy123456: @AlanCarr You're the single most annoying fag in the world
I've photoshopped what some celebrities would look like based on their worst fan art.
Retweeted by Alan Carr