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Alan Barns

Relax into the moment & let the Universe do the driving. #Tarot #Quotes
Retweeted by Alan Barns
I am getting new followers, thank you, but my follower count is not changing. Why?
Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
I got drunk last night and my house wasn't where I left it.
Approach a woman in a crowded bar and whisper "Hey, wanna get out of here?" If she says yes, then you can sit where she was.
You never have to worry about love at first sight if you steadfastly keep looking at your phone.
How is a man like the weather? Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
Relax into the moment & let the Universe do the driving. #Tarot #Quotes
Retweeted by Alan Barns
Are you worried you are going to miss out on something or someone? Visit my Tarot website.
Retweeted by Alan Barns
Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF. All my base are belong to you.
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.
Life is too complicated in the morning.
Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Everything is rightly confused.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again.
Time is at once the most valuable and most perishable of all our possessions.
When they start getting the 5-day forecast right then maybe I'll listen to their climate change theories.
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sand the cat kept covering me up.
Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem.
You're never too old to learn something stupid.
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter.
The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice. (Just a tweet sweetheart.)
Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.
Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
When decorating your tween daughter's room, don't forget to leave ample space for half the glasses in your kitchen.
There is no "me" in team. No, wait, yes there is!
Waiting for next weeks Fear The Walking Dead .... @FearTWD #FTWD
Retweeted by Alan Barns
Believe me if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows!
Nowadays, most of the children dream about an IPhone, when I was a child – I wanted a dog.
You know you're over fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.
If someone notices you with an open zipper, answer proudly: professional habit.
I've always felt that sexuality is a really slippery thing.....#Tarot #Quotes
Retweeted by Alan Barns
Be open to all teachers & all teachings, & listen with your heart. #Tarot #Quotes
Retweeted by Alan Barns
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