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Alan Barns
humour 26,292 followers
Archaeologist: Someone whose career lies in ruins.
I know that the easiest way to feel better is to smile. - HAPPINESS affirmations bit.ly/xyJcw
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Children in war zone - puts our tiny problems into perspective - m.youtube.com/watch?v=mR1LGo…
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A person who doesn't lose his wits over certain things has no wits to lose. ~ G.F. Lessing #quote
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BEST OF... "Daddy's Home" Comics. "Daddy's Home" archives: facebook.com/pages/Daddys-H… … … … … … pic.twitter.com/ai5E2Y459u
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My followers are in USA(42%), UK.(13%)... Get your map too: tweepsmap.com/!ABodger pic.twitter.com/LYlawFur47
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
Any fool can know. The point is to understand. — Albert Einstein
Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
An economist is someone who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
An apple every eight hours will keep three doctors away.
Am I ranting? I hope so. My ranting gets raves.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. — Oscar Wilde
A lot of people mistake a short memory with a clear conscience. — Doug Larson
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people's souls through two people's bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
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A gentleman is a patient wolf.
22. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. — Robert Frost
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.
Everybody knows more than somebody
Duct tape is like the Force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.