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Alan Barns
humour 26,509 followers
An economist is someone who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
An apple every eight hours will keep three doctors away.
Am I ranting? I hope so. My ranting gets raves.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. — Oscar Wilde
A lot of people mistake a short memory with a clear conscience. — Doug Larson
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people's souls through two people's bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
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A gentleman is a patient wolf.
22. A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age. — Robert Frost
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
A bachelor’s life is no life for a single man.
Everybody knows more than somebody
Duct tape is like the Force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.
Dyslexics have more fnu.
Don’t let making a living prevent you from making a life." — John Wooden
Don’t believe everything you think.
Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing." — Benjamin Franklin
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." — Mark Twain
An economist is someone who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
A long-forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.
Life is short... forgive quickly, love truly, laugh often...and never regret anything that made you stronger!
"A company is only as good as the people it keeps." - Mary Kay Ash