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Meeting Boy
comedy 148,614 followers
I love that LinkedIn thinks I need a button to say "congrats!"
Just give the satellite photos to the boss and he'll make a PowerPoint convincing you that flight #MH370 has already been found. By him.
Does everyone need to sign their fucking emails "Cheers"? Can't we just save that one for when alcohol is involved?
When it comes to switching browser screens when someone's walking by, I think I've leveled up to Expert.
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Turkish PM Erdoğan, I heard you blocked Twitter. Good luck with that. They tried it at the office too, and yet here I am mocking my boss.
RT @Snike_Myder: I saw this on another floor at work just now. Simple and brilliant!
Why aren't you tracking your color copies under the job number??? You're costing the company tens of cents!!!
I refuse to do the March Madness pool at work on principle ever since someone made the bracket form in PowerPoint.
I'm not in any March Madness pools, though I'm rooting for the same team I do every year-- whoever's playing the boss's alma mater.
The Internet was down at work for 20 minutes and I had to trolllgg...tooollkkk?...talc...speak word thingys to co-workers. Ick.
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No, no, that's OK. I love it when vendors waste my time with their sales pitch.
Office internet connection has slowed to a crawl while every idiot tries to stream March Madness.
Stay in budget. Start now before we have all the details. You only get to pick one.
I endorsed my colleague for Mute Incomprehension and Repetitive Questioning on LinkedIn.
You can make a decent living messing around online if you do it while you’re at work.
Retweeted by Meeting Boy
The boss brought the wrong PowerPoint to the client meeting, but he got through it because he such a great liar.
The client acknowledged the numbers weren't good, but asked for our help in fudging them for his presentation to senior management.
Remember how you said “we don’t need to budget for proofreading because we have spell check”? Well, now your website says “clam details”.
It's bad enough that you say "totes", but now you're responding to client requests with it?
The only thing worse than group editing a PowerPoint, it’s group editing PowerPoint on a conference call.
It's not that you described it as "more stripe-y"; it's that you said "more stripe-y" 74 times today.
There is no greater fool than the person who schedules a meeting first thing the morning after St. Patrick's Day.
The boss invited us for a drink for St. Patrick's Day, but I passed even though drunk punching him would be in the spirit of the holiday.
When Hollywood makes a movie about this 3-hour conference call, it will be called THERE WILL BE SNORING.
I’m pretty sure St. Patrick doesn’t care that you are sending all emails today in an unreadable green font.