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Fifty Sheds of Grey
humour london 100,209 followers
Science fact: An evening watching TV actually burns calories . . BBC1 - 20 cals Channel 4 - 30 cals Babestation - 560 cals
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The more manly the activity, the more calories you burn - Jogging: 20 cals Weightlifting: 90 cals Refusing to ask for directions: 350 cals
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When she told me she wanted to try dogging, this wasn't quite what I had in mind . .…
'I'm a bad girl,' she moaned as she bent over my workbench, 'I deserve to be punished.' 'Very well,' I said, and cancelled her credit card.
'So,' they asked eagerly, 'Do you think you can make two women happy at once?' 'Easy,' I said, and left.
'I need a man and I need him now!' she panted. 'Alright,' I said, 'But you're going to have to learn how to read a map eventually.'
'Are you ready to be tortured in a way only a woman can torture a man?' she asked. I nodded nervously. 'OK' she said and ate half my chips.
I couldn't believe I was sharing a bed with two women - I felt like a kid with a brand new train set. With two tunnels.
Only a few days left to get your shed (and name) in 50 Sheds of Grey 3! Please send your arty/moody/kinky shed photos to @bindychan ASAP
'Bend over and do exactly what I say,' she ordered, squeezing the thick liquid out of the tube. 'OK, this is how you do the washing up . . '
'Hurt me!' she begged as she bent over my workbench. 'Alright' I replied, 'You've got fat ankles and no dress sense.'…
Frantically I tore off her dress, bra and knickers. My heart was racing but I just managed to close the wardrobe door before she got home.
We finally agreed on the perfect position for a man and two women - me tied up naked in the shed, and them in the house watching Emmerdale.
'You make my panties so wet!' she squirmed. 'Don't blame me' I said 'You should've taken them off the line before I turned on the sprinkler'
A shed load of naughty laughs within a minute for 20p? Be rude not to . . .…
'It's so long!' she squealed, 'I don't think it's going to fit!' 'Sorry' I said 'But it isn't easy saying what you want in 140 characters.'
Would you like to see YOUR shed in 50 Sheds of Grey 3? Tweet a photo to @bindychan. The best will appear in the book, along with your name.
And YOUR shed could be in 50 Sheds of Grey 3! Just tweet a photo to @bindychan and the best ones will appear in the book, with your name.
Firstly, I am very pleased to announce that there will be a Fifty Sheds of Grey 3 later this year, to complete the erotic trowelogy!
Big 50 Sheds of Grey announcement coming up on Twitter in a few minutes . . Hold onto your tools!
LATEST 50 Sheds of Grey news - all will be revealed tomorrow . .
Exciting 50 Sheds of Grey news coming soon . . .