black "unisex" barbershops are always a room full of dudes & one beautician in a corner braiding hair playing monica at an acceptable volume
You know nann hoe..don' been the places I been..who can spend the grands that I spend fuck bout 5 or 6 bestfriends
Kid: "I want a bike for Christmas !"
Bumba Clause: "Mi nuh have dat"
Hey Shirley this is Barbra. I found some of ya French fries in my mans pockets
me: *ducks a punch from my mama*
my mom otp with every family member: LET ME TELL YOU HOW SHE TRIED HIT ME
i'm way too sensitive when I'm attached to someone. I'll detect a slight change in their tone & suddenly I'm wondering what went wrong.
When your spades partner cuts you
"I'm not really in the Christmas spirit"
"The company holiday party is open bar"
Me recently...like where the hell did y'all come from?😑twitter.com/Princessofwifi…
Me: " I'm going to have a productive today at work!"
i gotta go on a hunt for these ones 💦�wp
I've seen women suffer from cramps. They look they wanted to be sent out back and be put down than to suffer them 😭
When everyone's gassin someone up and you tryna figure out why they lyin.
Update: Trying again next semester 🙃twitter.com/onyeyichii/sta…
You needed about 18 coats of that lotion to get rid of one layer of ash ✌ #TeamVaseline twitter.com/Its_Tribblez/s…
Everyone: you're smart i'm sure you're doing fine in your classes
I've come to bother you!!!! @caunegrian_jena
"Now I got to come up to this school on my lunch break because you wanna act a fool"
When you're at church and it feels like the pastor is preaching directly to you:
"I told Barbara not to trust Shirley."
"Yea i might fuck wit it ... imma let u know"
"How many words is a full page?" #Finals
: What did y'all google today?
: The Thing is the king of side hustles in Marvel. Nuff said.
Also have to go to work in ohh....about four hours so...keep me in your prayers #FinalsWeek
About to take a clean 30 min nap and get back to this paper because.... Issa battle 😣E
Man, VICELAND just randomly have some shit come on that'll have you like "UHHHH CANCEL MY 6 AND MY 7 O'CLOCK"
when you bout to leave the club and hear offset say "you know...."
Me in the beginning of the semester: I'm going to get straight A's this semester.
Me to me on finals week: C's get… twitter.com/i/web/status/7…
Y'all going get enough of trying to abandon this friendship😂😂😂😂
I will never let Alexia be great. 😎�om
But that's life I suppose. Like one big "Giving Tree" moment.
I's mutha fuckin tied..
2017 Squad Goals.
The week I get paid vs the week I don't
College is literally the best/worst time of your life. One minute you’re living it up with your friends, the next you have $3.00 and 4 exams
I actually think I'm over finals and everybody .
you vs the guy that keeps DMing her vs the guy she works with that buys her lunch vs her ex she tells you not to wo… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…
Soulja Boy so lame 🙄 anybody he diss can't even take him seriously. Its all for show just to stay somewhat relevant 😕
When you like your beats down low, and your top laid back
u ever look at ur bestfriend like wow this human right here...... dis is my favourite human
When someone asks me to borrow 25 dollars of my 13 trillion
Been looking for @caunegrian_jena
Where o where is my choncla @caunegrian_jena
? I miss you kid.😣
Just looked in the mirror and I'm literally baffled at how I'm single. I'm super fucking adorable. Boys are dumb.