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Ki-Mo-Sah-Bee

black "unisex" barbershops are always a room full of dudes & one beautician in a corner braiding hair playing monica at an acceptable volume
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You know nann hoe..don' been the places I been..who can spend the grands that I spend fuck bout 5 or 6 bestfriends
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Kid: "I want a bike for Christmas !" Bumba Clause: "Mi nuh have dat"
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Hey Shirley this is Barbra. I found some of ya French fries in my mans pockets
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me: *ducks a punch from my mama* my mom otp with every family member: LET ME TELL YOU HOW SHE TRIED HIT ME me:
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i'm way too sensitive when I'm attached to someone. I'll detect a slight change in their tone & suddenly I'm wondering what went wrong.
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"I'm not really in the Christmas spirit" "The company holiday party is open bar"
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Me recently...like where the hell did y'all come from?😑twitter.com/Princessofwifi…Z
Me: " I'm going to have a productive today at work!" Mother Nature:
i gotta go on a hunt for these ones 💦�wp
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I've seen women suffer from cramps. They look they wanted to be sent out back and be put down than to suffer them 😭
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When everyone's gassin someone up and you tryna figure out why they lyin.
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You needed about 18 coats of that lotion to get rid of one layer of ash ✌ #TeamVaseline twitter.com/Its_Tribblez/s…
Everyone: you're smart i'm sure you're doing fine in your classes Me:
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"Now I got to come up to this school on my lunch break because you wanna act a fool"
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When you're at church and it feels like the pastor is preaching directly to you:
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"I told Barbara not to trust Shirley."
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"Yea i might fuck wit it ... imma let u know"
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"How many words is a full page?" #Finals RT @BrianMcLight: What did y'all google today?
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#NeverForget: The Thing is the king of side hustles in Marvel. Nuff said.
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Also have to go to work in ohh....about four hours so...keep me in your prayers #FinalsWeek
About to take a clean 30 min nap and get back to this paper because.... Issa battle 😣E
Man, VICELAND just randomly have some shit come on that'll have you like "UHHHH CANCEL MY 6 AND MY 7 O'CLOCK"
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when you bout to leave the club and hear offset say "you know...."
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Me in the beginning of the semester: I'm going to get straight A's this semester. Me to me on finals week: C's get… twitter.com/i/web/status/7…
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Y'all going get enough of trying to abandon this friendship😂😂😂😂
I will never let Alexia be great. 😎�om
But that's life I suppose. Like one big "Giving Tree" moment.
I's mutha fuckin tied..
College is literally the best/worst time of your life. One minute you’re living it up with your friends, the next you have $3.00 and 4 exams
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I actually think I'm over finals and everybody .
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you vs the guy that keeps DMing her vs the guy she works with that buys her lunch vs her ex she tells you not to wo… twitter.com/i/web/status/8…
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Soulja Boy so lame 🙄 anybody he diss can't even take him seriously. Its all for show just to stay somewhat relevant 😕
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When you like your beats down low, and your top laid back
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u ever look at ur bestfriend like wow this human right here...... dis is my favourite human
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When someone asks me to borrow 25 dollars of my 13 trillion
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Been looking for @caunegrian_jena all weekend....😒😒�JHIW
Where o where is my choncla @caunegrian_jena ? I miss you kid.😣
Just looked in the mirror and I'm literally baffled at how I'm single. I'm super fucking adorable. Boys are dumb.
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