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J A K E ♛
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Cuz at first I'm like Wtf?! Then I get pissed cuz I'm like is someone trying to TP me. But them I'm like Oh it's the owl. Stfu
There is this owl that makes its noises near my bedroom window and sometimes it sounds like people talking and laughing and it scares me.
So hey um, if you're not busy this Friday... Uhh, wanna go to a lecture on quantum physics theories of black holes?
Retweeted by J A K E ♛
lmao, idk how i download this much stuff.
I haven't left the house in 3 days, i haven't changed clothes in 3 days. This, this is spring break. 😊
I dislike my voice.
"@NatalieWiley_19: @18_jjohnson he's wearing the swim trunks again" hell Yeah I am! 🏊
I'm a pretty confident person. I have this cocky attitude all the time. I see something and I'm like "hey I can do that" and then I do.
Retweeted by J A K E ♛
The ratchet was a great invention.
[walks in my building to guy trying to get mattress upstairs] me: struggling huh him: [gasping] ha yeah [short silence] me: ok see you later
Retweeted by J A K E ♛
Baseball kids think they're so cool during dodgeball wtf quit pitching
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current mood: ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀
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[Dying in hospital] Wife: I brought you some flowers.. Me: Aww, you really shouldn't have...because what I actually need is A KIDNEY, Karen.
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CONDUCTOR: Oh my dad's in the audience [waves to dad] [orchestra goes crazy]
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[fancy party] your ex is here ill be fine.. hey, where do frogs buy their tshirts ex: frogs dont wear tshirts AT LEAST THEY FIT IN ONE LINDA
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Tweet until they all hate you.
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r u from europe because europiece of shit
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i like to push my body to the limit but not in the healthy living way more like in the how much pasta can i eat before im unable to move way
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Pretty sure it was from reddit too.
I get really sad and depressed when I don't have caffeine in me.
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That was not OC but, there Ya go.
a duck bit me last week and I've been repelling water since. I can't get wet [doctor pouring fifth cup of water on me] "it's so frustrating"
Can't wait for summer so I can stop being serious all the time.
Retweeted by J A K E ♛
All I do is fav jeep pics on insta. 😕
I hate when you correct someone on something and they continue to do/say it incorrectly.
People my age don't use their brains at all. I can predict their every move.
Retweeted by J A K E ♛
Im a start shit kind of nigga.
Mal's bag is pretty swag.
Counter Strike is taking 5ever.
Instead of taking 2 antibiotics a day for 7 days take 7 antibiotics a day for 2 days.
Retweeted by J A K E ♛